


The disadvantage of being smol

by HaveMyWeedCookies



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Family Feels, Fluff and Humor, Height Differences, Identity Reveal, Jealous Peter, Jealous Wade, M/M, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Avengers, The Avengers Need a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-26
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2018-11-19 08:27:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11309571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HaveMyWeedCookies/pseuds/HaveMyWeedCookies
Summary: Due to his boyish face and small physique, Peter was often forced to be a recipient of social treatment which wasn’t appropriate for his age or capability, like getting misunderstood, babied or protected. It was really frustrating. However, he could tolerate this embarrassing ordeal any day. Only one thing that he couldn't stand: don't get recognized as Wade's boyfriend.*edited: Chapter 2 Summary: Peter really had no ideas why the Avengers was so overprotective of him. Then, let see their real reasons.(Thank you LazyFangirlCat for suggesting this wonderful prompt! :)





	1. The disadvantage of being smol

Appearance mattered. The harsh fact which he was reluctant to accept until recently – that people would judge you from your look before anything else. Since he was little, Peter was a kind of kids who was inspiring to be a successful scientist like his role models, Dr. Banner or Mr. Stark, more than wanting to look pretty. 

Because the awesomeness of a scientist was measured by their intelligence, not a look. 

Apparently, knowing nothing about how his own appearance was projected in the public had become his shortcoming in the long run. The truth was that Peter was born with a lithe physique. His height might be of average (and Peter would maintain that. Thank you very much!) However, unfortunately, all of his friends seemed to possess the body of a supermodel that could easily dwarf him. And don’t let he start with his baby face. These physical attributes didn’t make Peter's already complicated life easier.

Yet, Peter never seriously attempt to fix it before. Comparing to problems encountered by Spider-Man, Peter’s problem was just petty and ridiculous. After all, getting misunderstandings time to time shouldn’t be that worse than dealing with explosives and animal-themed villains, right? Right. But it didn’t mean that Peter would handle it without complaints. It was obvious that being forced to be a recipient of social treatment which wasn’t appropriate for your age or capability could be really frustrating. 

To elaborate Peter’s tiresome struggle, here was one of the examples: age restrictions. 

Buying alcohol at a local store or going to a pub was always a pain in Peter’s ass since he hit puberty because he never accomplished these tasks effortlessly which was kind of annoying. And because these activities weren’t necessary to his life, Peter just swept the problem under the carpet by simply not drinking or hanging out in places that required his ID. However, sometimes, social life called. He was an adult and it was expected for him to exhibit an effort to keep social connections. It was okay actually because Peter wasn’t a hermit. He could tolerate this -- had his colleagues at the Bugle not found mingling in a bar a good idea. 

So here he was, Peter Parker, aged 23, already graduated and working as a photographer while also doing a master degree in a college, sulking in front of a fancy pub near downtown to which he was denied entry, because the estate’s bouncer didn’t believe he was ‘legal’ to visit this adult-rated club yet.

“Seriously?” He lifted his eyebrows at the bouncer who looked back to Peter with indifference, not paying any attention to the young man’s growing bubble of annoyance.

He would admit that his face might not look convincing as it seemed to forget to age normally after he reached 17 but Peter already provided his ID card! Sadly, the bouncer was quite experienced in his job and had seen the attempt to outsmart him with faked ID by minors who thought they were smart and sneaky many times he lost count. The guard seemed to put Peter into the same category with those little brats. He didn’t have time for a thorough scanning for one client. Also, he really didn’t want to deal with any trouble in case the police came knocking their door. In conclusion, kicking anyone suspicious out than letting one minor slipped in was a better tactical strategy. Nodding to himself, the bouncer replied to the waiting ‘teen’,

“Still no, kid.”

“I can show you my birth certificate, want one?” Peter pleaded although it came out a bit sarcastic because of his losing patience. 

“Look, that’d make it ever more suspicious. No one carries that paper around. Should I call your parents?”

The only solution for this situation now was to call his colleagues to pick him at the gate but it would entail an embarrassing talk that would be too much for his pride. So, Peter just huffed and called his friends to apologize and cancel their plan before dragging himself back to his room and waiting for the time to change into the suit and go patrol. 

Sometimes, in situations like this made Peter wish that he could change his appearance. He didn’t aim for something extreme makeover – just his face to accurately reflect his age would be sufficient enough to boost his self-confidence… and he’d not deny that few inches adding to his height would be nice too. 

 

 

Among many reasons he liked being Spider-Man was that despite still being a tiny fellow to his superhero acquaintances who were much older and larger than him, at least as the masked vigilante of New York, Peter got some respect. Although the Bugle slandered him on daily basis, at least no one thought Spidey needed to be saved. Peter Parker wasn’t so lucky. 

See, people inclined to draw a connection between individuals’ look and their personality or skills. And with his not-so-macho appearance, Peter often got mistaken for being fragile or incapable. On the bright side, he didn’t have to worry that people would suspect a thing about him and his alter-ego identity. Besides this, it was awkwardly uncomfortable. Many times that Peter was just waiting for a bus and minding his own business, but random men and women kept approaching him to ask whether he needed help or someone to accompany him to home. 

And there was that one-time incident when women in the Bugle upon seeing Peter out of Jameson’s office and learning that the Daily Bugle’s stingy editor refused to pay Peter again, marched angrily to their boss’s room and demand that he paid their cherished young photographer his delayed payment.

This was their exact word:

“Mr. Jameson, you callous man! You better pay him right now. You made that poor baby cry!” 

What the—Peter didn’t cry! For heaven’s sake, that was his look of disappointment. Not a single tear being shed, ladies!

 

 

“Where did they get that idea from?!” Peter ranted. He had been pacing angrily since he reached home. “I mean I appreciated their kind gesture – standing for justice and all. And J.J. paid me. But how could they misread my face?” He wondered out loud to the other person in the room who was currently draping himself on Peter’s couch that was clearly too small for him and his long legs were sticking out funny, but the taller man somehow managed to make it look comfortable.

“Well, with that large brown eyes of you, Bambi, when you start to sulk, they become watery and very sad. No decent human beings could stand seeing a cute puppy cry,” Wade finally gave a comment which was really unhelpful.

“I wasn’t sulking,” the young hero pouted petulantly which got him immediately a scoff from the mercenary.

“Yes, you did. You’re doing that right now too.”

Peter grimaced and threw a pillow at the older man’s face but he evaded it before it hit his head.

“You know that I was right, baby boy,” his mercenary boyfriend continue to snicker, clearly enjoying at the expense of Peter’s suffering.

“Shut it, Wade.”

Peter really had no idea why on earth he decided to put up with this unbelievable man.

 

 

The web-slinger had heard about Deadpool’s reputation long before he had a chance to meet the infamous mercenary. When it happened, Spider-Man was astonished by how different the Merc with a Mouth was, from the portrait of a merciless killer people gave him. The older man was childish, and had an unhealthy obsession over superheroes, especially Spider-Man whom he openly fanboyed. Admittedly, Peter was flattered by Deadpool’s unhidden adoration toward Spidey and surprisingly enjoyed having the Merc’s company, his insanity and all. They had team-ups. And before realizing, their rooftop hang-out session had slowly ingrained itself upon their night schedule. 

Nevertheless, Peter wasn’t that stupid to believe that the mercenary’s silly personality was his true self.

A chance to meet the real Deadpool, however, occurred when Peter was the least prepared. That time the younger hero was in his civilian clothes and appeared to be stumbling across Deadpool’s path while said Merc was going to murder a guy in front of him. His victim was already unconscious and collapsed on the dirty pavement. Peter didn’t have time to change into his suit. He doubted that the unfortunate man would still be breathing until he came back. Still, the weight of ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ applied to him regardless of his conditions, even as Peter Parker, he had to do something.

This led to Peter abruptly stepping in the soon-to-be crime scene and shielding Deadpool’s target with his own body. Hid heart was beating rapidly at the realization that this was their first confrontation in a battle even though Peter wasn’t in his uniform and Wade didn’t recognize him more than a nerd with unrealistic bravery, or stupidity. 

Talking about Deadpool, now he was still regarding Peter with his eerie white eyes and Peter’s spider sense was going off like crazy.

“Back off, kid,” Deadpool growled, clearly unamused by people interrupting his business, finally revealing his real voice which was nothing like that high-pitched childish tone that he often used when they patrolled together. It was gravel, hoarse, and in every sense dangerous. Without his suit and mask, Peter couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed by the mercenary’s murderous aura.

Seeing that Peter still stood his ground and not ran away like other people. Deadpool tiling his head deeply impressed and curious.

Clenching his hands in determination, Peter spoke,

“No. I’ll not let you kill him.” 

“That guy is responsible for human trafficking and slave trades, kid. He is a bad person."

Wade was surprised. He wasn’t usually conversing with a stranger when he was working but something in this young brunette was so familiar and the Merc found himself giving the boy a reason.

“You send him to police," Peter replied without thinking, but it had Deadpool’s eyes widened comically at the very same preaching that had been said to him almost every night. 

Hmm…

“What if I say no to that?” 

“...Then I'll do my best to protect his life.” 

To make it more believable, he put up his fighting stance. Peter knew it was a really ridiculous picture: A scrawny man challenging a merciless combatant. Peter didn’t plan to engage in the fight and win at all. His plan was to distract the Merc until someone called police and hope for the best that he’d succeed without accidentally revealing his true strength.

He wasn’t expected to meet with Deadpool bending and clutching his stomach dramatically as he laughed himself to death.

“Ha, ha. Ha. Sorry, didn’t mean to crash your dream, baby boy,” the mercenary said to Peter who stood dumbly still in his fighting pose, while Deadpool wiping his imaginary tears from his mask and finishing his speech, “But I don’t harm kids. Let alone a toddler.”

Peter stared that the man’s grin evident through the mask, slowly feeling his frustration rose from Deadpool's outright mockery. Peter really shouldn’t continue this conversation but he still went digging his grave just because he wanted to wipe that stupid smile off the older man’s face.

“Underestimating people isn’t a wise decision. You might have that impressive work of muscles here but who knows – between the two of us, I might be the stronger one.”

“Oh yeah. What’re you going to do to the big bad me, little hobbit? Nipping my fingers to death? Ouch, Ouch. Oh, you’re so scaryyy – I’m petrified!” Deadpool howled, placing both hands on his hip and shaking them mockingly at Peter. And something in Peter’s head just snapped.

“Oh, Bite me,” he roared.

And proceeded to web the annoying Merc up to the wall.

He really shouldn’t act out of anger. And revealing himself to Deadpool was the least wise and most regrettable decision that Peter had committed in years. Although it did bring them together afterward, it was still annoying whenever Wade recalled this encounter just to embarrass Peter.

 

 

Clearly, unmasking himself to the Avengers was one of his big mistakes and it wasn’t about confidentiality or trust issue that worried Peter. Somehow, to know that a person behind the most famous mask of New York was just a young adult shocked everyone in the A team and led to a change in dynamics of his relationships with them. Like, right now Tony wouldn’t stop pestering Peter for the younger hero to move to the Avenger Tower for a ‘better protection’. Or a change in Captain America’s order which now always sent Spider-Man out of the heart of battles. 

They didn’t even try to be subtle at all, and the team assembled just to beat Peter’s ‘own’ villain was the last straw that broke the camel’s back. 

“Guys, you can’t just fight my battle for me!” Peter was fuming. Normal people would be over the moon for having the best superhero team of New York protecting them but Peter really had no desire for a horde of papa and mama bears. He was a superhero in his own right. He didn’t appreciate being babied.

“Now, what the public would think of me?” He asked them, attempting it to sound like an admonition. But the only person who seemed to look guilty was the good doctor Banner which made Peter felt guilty in return. The others, however, were infuriatingly unflappable. 

Tony waved it off dismissively like this issue was unwarranted of his attention. Instead, the billionaire looked at their youngest member expectantly and demanded,

“What’s more important is that you are currently dating someone whom you are trying to hide from us. Who is this person?”

Peter crossed his arms defiantly. “I’m not hiding. I can date whoever I want and I’m not obligated to tell any of you, my love interest.”

“Dude, just tell them,” Clint suggested. He understood well how far his fellow heroes’ protectiveness could go. Things were different now since they discovered that the crime-fighting spider was just a kid, half of their age. The heroic responsibility was hard to anyone even as experienced as the Avengers but Peter with his smaller frame carried the heavy weight on his shoulder alone for years. They couldn’t help but felt the urge to protect the boy. And this somehow expanded to the spiderling’s personal life as well. 

Among the Avenger’s members who went forcefully overprotective over Spider-Man, Hawkeye was pretty laid-back. Perhaps, it was because Barton was the only person that really had kids and knew how not to drive their kids crazy with their concerns. Anyways, Clint still found ruffling Peter’s feathers very entertaining. So he added teasingly, 

“Or Tony is going to hack your phone to find out anyway. And Cap and Nat here would be knocking that poor man’s door before you even leave this room.”

“How did you know I’m going to do that, Legolas?” Tony raised his eyebrows. Clint rolled his eyes back.

“Why you have to do this to me?” Peter asked, his tone exasperated. 

Trying his best to sooth the upset hero, Steve began, “Peter, we just want to make sure that you are with a good person --” 

“And weed out those who don’t deserve you,” Natasha finished darkly.

 

 

In the nutshell, the Avengers didn’t take it well when learning that the gun for hire was dating their precious boy. All thank his healing factor, Wade survived the Avenger’s scanning, although barely.

 

 

“They can’t do this to you,” Peter frowned, “and they can’t do this to me either. Treating me like I’m just a child. Why do people keep assuming that I’m weak?” The tired hero flopped himself down on his bed, face in a pillow.

“Is it because of my face? Should I try growing beard to look more awe-inspiring?”

Wade shook his head fondly at Peter’s obliviousness. The brunette had it all wrong, and it seemed like he’d never be able to figure it out himself. As a good boyfriend he was, Wade decided to enlighten Peter with the truth.

“You know nothing, Petey pie. People don’t act the way they do because they think you are weak. It’s because you’re cute. You’re like a little cinnamon roll whom people want to protect at all costs.”

“I’m not cute!” Peter yelled but his voice got muffled by the pillow he was currently hiding his face in. “And I don’t want to be cute. I want respect,” he added grumpily.

It was like watching a grumpy little puppy throwing a tantrum.

Wade had to refrain himself from going ‘aww’ because that would eliminate his chance to get handsy and do the naughty with his baby boy tonight. But seriously, Peter thought pulling this kind of act would get people stop coddling him?

Yes, Peter had that adorable boyish face but that wasn’t the only thing that was drawing people to him. The young hero wasn’t aware of this fact but there was something about him that always felt so innocent. As a hero, he was the only one who truly believed in redemption, who kept giving people a chance to hope and change for the better. The cruelty of this filthy world seemed to be unable to tarnish his pure soul. 

And as Peter, he was still a good kid. The man swore ‘mother-hugger’ for fucking sake. They might be grouped together as the most annoying talkative superheroes in the universe but their styles were nothing alike: Wade with his R-rated crude jokes and F word flying while Peter favoring kid-friendly science puns like a little nerd he was. Thinking about this, it was really amusing that the Amazing Spider-Man’s default was his own adorableness because Peter Parker couldn’t stop being cute. Wade chuckled at his thought which had Peter pull his face out of the pillow to look at him in suspicion. 

“What’s so funny?”

“You know, instead of fuming, you could take advantage of this – just fluttering your pretty eyelashes and you’d have people wrapping around your little finger,” Wade mused intentionally because it was always a fun seeing Peter all red and flustered.

As expected, Peter looked very scandalized and horrified.

“I...I’m not going to seduce people to do what I want! That’s wrong!”

Cute. And with a right answer because Wade won’t stand anyone getting smitten by Peter’s charm and trying to take him away from him.

 

 

Wade might find Peter’s struggle amusing most of the time but he was aware that it also came with a less fun package. Peter’s inability to stop being cute always caught the eye of unwanted suitors. 

They were currently in a supermarket. A box of cereal which Peter wanted was on top of the shelf beyond his reach, and the man was too prideful to call Wade. Stubbornly, Pete tried to stretch his hand in hope that he could get to the cereal box, while Wade just enjoying the view from the corner of the shelf like a good unreliable boyfriend he was.

Peter gritted his teeth. ‘Stupid shelf and stupid boyfriend,’ he thought.

At home, Peter had no need to call for help. Getting things from a high place was like a piece of cake when he had his webs-hooter and his climbing ability with him, but sadly Peter couldn’t utilize those skills in the public sphere. 

Then, an unfamiliar hand reached up and picked the cereal box for him. Peter blinked in confusion as the cereal box was placed in his basket. 

The owner of that hand was a blonde muscular man who looked like a gym-going kind of guy. The man flashed him a smile of his white teeth which Peter had to return obligatorily, although hesitantly. He didn’t want to be impolite to the stranger who helped him even he didn’t ask for that help because that would make Aunt May disappointed.

“Thank you,” Peter said to the gym guy who seemed to misinterpret Peter’s thank as a green light to start a long conversation.

“You’re welcome! My name is John by the way.” the man winked flirtatiously, holding his hand out.

The young hero was going to greet him back when he felt a pair of an arm snaking around his waist and pulling him back to the familiar wall of muscles. Wade put his chin on Peter’s head and rubbed it on his lover’s brown hair lazily, while his eyes staring intensely at John guy like a predator watching his prey. 

“Hello, John Doe. My name is Wade,” Wade smirked with all his sharp teeth. His tone might sound light but it was tinted with an unhidden dangerous warning. John guy swallowed thickly at the presence of a scarred man who was even larger than him. Hastily, he excused himself and disappeared from the couple’s sight within a few minute.

Peter immediately head-butted his caveman of a boyfriend as soon as they were alone.

Peter glared at his nonchalant boyfriend. Wade always exhibited his possessiveness whenever he believed that someone was hitting on Peter. He really didn’t know whether should he find this irritating or endearing, probably both. However, that didn’t terminate the fact that Wade threatened other civilians, and thus deserved a scold for being rude.

“That was uncalled for, you barbarian.” 

“Nope, it was necessary,” Wade shrugged, picked that offensive cereal box from Peter’s basket and proceeded to throw it out. It hit the shelf behind them with precision and made other products falling down on the floor like dominoes. Peter winced while Wade just picked a new box of cereal from the shelf, dropping it in the basket like nothing happened.

 

 

Being misunderstood, babied, and protected, as annoying as this whole ordeal was, Peter could take them any day. But there was one thing that he would never tolerate. And here, the true disadvantage of being smol (Wade's word not his.): People didn’t recognize Peter as Wade’s BOYFRIEND.

The first time Peter entered St. Margaret’s, it was because Peter wanted to know more about Wade. So, the mercenary decided to introduce him to his friend/sidekick. Weasel. The bartender, however, upon seeing whom Wade brought to his bar, immediately gawked at Peter like he was a new different species. 

“The fuck man. You disappeared for months and emerged back with a teenage son,” Weasel commented blatantly which earned him a glare from Peter. 

“Shut up, you dick. Peter is my boyfriend.” 

“Fuck you too, asshole. But seriously, never take you to be one of cradle snatchers.”

Wade grunted, “He is legal, asshat. And stop staring at him or I’ll gouge your eyeballs out.”

“Whatever burger-face,” the scrawny bartender shrugged, unruffled by the deadly mercenary’s threat. Other patrons and waitresses were glancing at them too, or to be precise, Peter with curiosity.

“Don’t pay attention to them, kid. They’re just curious. Folks here rarely see a guest who is still young, cute and not having a broken tooth,” Weasel explained.

Despite an expressionless face and blunt remarks, Weasel was surprisingly a good company. Peter learned a lot of things about pre-Deadpool Wade from him, particularly his former love interests.

“I mean, this ugly bitch here once when he was still a charming killer hooked up with every bargirl in this neighborhood. I was so fucking surprised that it was cancer that fucked him up. We always bet on the pool that he would get himself killed by HIV or Syphilis whatever got him first.”

Weasel stopped briefly to take a sip from his glass and he regarded Peter pensively.

“Him landing on someone like you was really out of my expectation. No offenses, Peter. You’re cute. But I always imagined only a woman with claws, literally and figuratively, could tame this ruthless bastard.”

Wade just snorted over his mug while Peter calculating this information with a heavy heart.

 

 

“Don’t you dislike going there?” Wade asked when Peter insisted going with him to St. Margaret’s where the Merc was its frequent patrons. Drinks there weren’t good but it was the only pub where Wade could drink without worrying that his hideous face would accidentally give someone a heart attack. However, he had no idea why his younger lover would want to go that unpleasant lair of the despicable giving that Peter also didn’t drink.

Peter didn’t offer the Merc an explanation of his true reason. He doubted that Wade would understand. It was just that Peter didn’t blend in with Wade’s folks. His youngish appearance was more than enough to make him look like a sheep in the pack of wolves. And Wade was too imbued in his own self-loathing to notice that things went both ways too – that not only people thought he didn’t deserve Peter but they also snickered at how a plain white boy like Peter could capture the experienced mercenary's heart. Even in his ‘deformed’ body, Wade was still handsome, scars only made him even more charismatic.

And some girls at St. Margaret’s found him fascinating. Like, Wade’s ex, Vanessa, the waitress who was hotter and sexier than ten of Peter combined. According to Weasel, the two parted amiably, still maintaining their friendship. Deep inside Peter’s heart, he just wished that their break-up ended disastrously because things would be easier. Because she had been talking to Wade for more than 10 minutes now. Seeing her with Wade, losing in their conversation, probably reminiscing their old time together, no one would question that they were a matched couple because of how natural they matched each other. It made Peter felt like a third wheel. Gulping down his own glass and slamming it down on the counter, Peter stood up. 

'Oh, fuck it.'

 

 

“Wade, who’s this cute boy standing behind you?” Vanessa asked, cluelessly waving her hand at Peter and instantly stopped when he didn’t wave back. Her beautiful face showed a little bit of uncertainty. Meanwhile, Peter was looking unimpressed at his own boyfriend who was unbelievably oblivious to the awkwardness that was the meeting between his present lover and his ex.

“Oh hey, Petey! Nessa, here is the baby boy I have been telling you about! He is—“

Wade didn’t have a chance to finish as Peter was pulling him down and kissed him fiercely. Vanessa’s mouth hung open in a perfect form of ‘o’. Other people in the room were looking dumbstruck.

‘Good,’ Peter thought, ‘Let them now know whom Wade belongs to.’

“I’m his boyfriend.”

 

 

A Bonus:

After the bar incident and they already returned home. Peter immediately hid under the blanket, forming a lump on the bed as he promised himself that he'd never drink again. Somber now, Peter just realized what had he done.

“Oh my god, I was so rude to her! It was because of that alcohol. I should not act that immature—“

“Peter,” Wade interrupted, while still patting the lump of his young lover gently, “Nessa understood."

"I kissed you in the front of everyone!"

"Actually was really hot. I was swooned, baby boy. No one ever feels jealous of me before.” 

“Really? You think I’m hot?” The voice of surprise and the disheveled haired Peter emerged from the blanket. Wade grinned, 

“Yup. Hot and cute. You’re after all my smol baby boy.”


	2. A whole new level of 'meet the parents'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter really had no ideas why the Avengers was so overprotective of him. Then, let see their real reasons.
> 
> Or, in which Peter was a precious cinnamon roll who saved everyone and then had unintentionally accumulated a group of overprotective superheroes who would go to great extent to keep their precious boy safe. Like beating the crap out of Spider-Man’s villain. Or terrorizing Peter’s secret boyfriend, aka Deadpool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks you all for your kudos and comments! It means a lot to me! Also, a great thank to LazyFangirlCat for your suggestion! 
> 
> This is kinda a canon-divergence. I think everything happened the same until the Age of Ultron, movie-verse. But Civil Wars isn't happening in this fic. Because I need a big family. Anyway, I hope everyone has fun reading this.

For all the things that had happened in his life, Tony Stark needed a drink.

People loved calling Tony a billionaire with a monstrous ego, a merchant of death, or simply a self-entitled prick. They just didn't get it.

Born with the prestige of wealth and a remarkable aptitude, Tony always believed that it was his responsibility to be ambitious. To dream bigger than anyone, to envision the better world, and to make it happen. 

Tony would admit it was his own stupidity that made him think that supplying the ‘lessor-evil’ in conflicts with his weapons could end the wars for good. It blew up in his face and that was how Tony got an arc-reactor as a payment for his ignorance. Notwithstanding, Tony changed his strategy but the goal maintained – that he would archive peace one day. 

How time flies by, Tony became a superhero. And together with his misfits of acquaintances, they found the Avengers to protect people. Unfortunately, the world hadn’t become safer. Like Vision’s prediction, the existence of the invincible heroes invited more challenges. 

Somehow Tony’s life unavoidably got entangled in this web of problems he himself helped create. It strangled him. All he ever earned so far from trying to be helpful were more troubles: PTSD, Gen. Ross and his council bullshit fueled by angry civilians that were after the Avengers like a bloodthirsty hyena… and his own broken heart. Tired from their distance and seeing Tony kept hurting himself, Pepper decided to call an end to their relationship and Tony didn’t stop her from moving on. She deserved better.

Because of that, tonight, Tony was left alone by himself like he used to be all his life, in his big, luxurious and soulless tower. His teammates were nowhere to be found. They wouldn’t of much of help anyway. With their own problems, they were literally the mess .

That was why Tony returned to his old company. Alcohol. 

The tired billionaire pulled a bottle of scotch from his liquor cabinet and poured himself a generous amount of the amber elixir of life into a waiting glass. With a glass of alcohol in hand, he finally let out his humorless smile, knowing that he would shortly be granted a glimpse of peace as soon as he entered the intoxicated state of mind.

However…

Twipp!

Tony cursed. His heart was beating fast as the glass was forcefully pulled away from his hand by a white synthetic web into the waiting hand of a man adorning in red and blue. Upon realizing that he wasn’t attacked, Tony slowly regained his composure from the panic and twirled himself to glare at the Avengers’ youngest member whom he currently recruited to the team.

“Oops. Sorry for startling you, Tony,” The masked vigilante apologized as he removed the mask revealing a disheveled mop of brown hair and a boyish face of a young photographer. Peter Parker grinned at him, “But you shouldn’t be drinking. It’s not good for your health.”

Even though Tony always suspected that the amazing Spider-Man was on the younger side, he still had a trouble trying to wrap up with the unbelievable disclosure that the crime-fighting spider was just a kid who barely passed his cornerstone of adolescence yet when he began his vigilante career. How could he let this so obvious fact slip under his nose until the day that the boy chose to reveal his secret to them was so befuddling.

Nevertheless, Tony couldn’t help but scoff at the kid’s concern for his health. Good intentions aside, Peter was so incredulously naïve and right now, he really didn’t need to hear a lecture from a kid whose age could be his son about how Tony should live a life.

“No harms comes from a few drinks, kid. Besides, it helps me sleep.”

“You never do a few drinks, Tony,” Peter countered easily, not buying Tony’s weak excuse. It supposed to be an easy banter between them but tonight it went straight to Tony’s heart. He knew that Peter meaned no harms but his retort just reminded Tony that he had made a bad decision again. This led Tony to do the most recent regrettable mistake of tonight. He snapped at Peter.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Tony Stark is an alcoholic as well as he is many things. A pretentious, a killer. An asshole. I’ve tried to change that. I do! But why people keep constantly reminding me of my flaws? Please do me a favor and let me drink in peace!”

Peter’s eyes widened in shock of his mentor’s sudden breakdown. Tony might be snarky and sarcastic but he never yelled at anyone in anger before. Tony’s shoulder succumbed as he hid his face in his palms, ashamed of himself. Of all people, Peter shouldn’t be the one receiving his outburst. He wasn’t responsible for Tony’s depression. Even more, the kid looked up to Tony in adoration and respect as if Tony Stark could be someone’s idol. Now, Peter would know that who he had been adoring was nothing but an insomniac, alcoholic loser.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, Pete. You shouldn’t be seeing me like this— actually, you should. This is why told you to be better. So, you wouldn't end up like me,” Tony whispered, his voice soft and resigned.

When Tony looked up, ready to face the youth’s disappointment, Peter was still there but there were no traces of disdain on his young face.

 

Spider-Man showed up another night, again interrupting Tony’s therapeutic session that would involve lots of alcohol. However, this time, Peter didn’t come barehanded. He brought with himself a large tupperware which stored a warm homemade lasagna-- an Aunt May’s recipe which he claimed to be the best in town-- and asked Tony to join him.

“I made this myself,” Peter told Tony with a wide grin, clearly proud of his cookery achievement. When Tony asked why he made this, Peter simply reasoned that a warm meal was way better than drinking.

To be frank, Peter’s lasagna was mediocre at best. With just a call, Tony would have a finer lasagna prepared by Michelin-starred chefs from high-end restaurants as many as he’d like. Still, Peter’s dish was by far the most enjoyable meal he had ever had in years. The kid didn’t stop running his mouth while they were digging in his lasagna, talking about anything and everything his mind could think of: his works, his college, a recent scientific paper he read, or a soap opera he was forced to watch with a friend and found out that he enjoyed it.

His joyfulness was so contagious. So, slowly, Tony found himself smile and quip back.

They talked until it was the time for Peter to depart for his apartment. Before putting his mask back, the young vigilante scratched his neck sheepishly as he confessed his thought,

“Look, this might sound a little funny – because someone like you who is Iron Man shouldn’t be needing any help from a kid like me. But I used to be a lone wolf. Back then, before you recruited me, I thought I was pretty tough and could do anything by myself, but you made me realize that I could be better, stronger… and I’m glad that you helped me. I’ll always admire you, Tony. Please know that I’ll always have your back.”

After that Peter kept coming to the Tower to help Tony in the lab or just for hanging out with him. Tony was a man of science and he never believed in intuition or instinct, but there was a moment that he could clearly see it in front of his eyes. A vision of the greatest hero overlapped with the silly college kid who now was chasing after Dumb-E in his lab like an idiot. Tony never doubted that one-day Spider-Man would surpass them all. And Iron Man wished that he could live long enough to see that day. However, until then he would do whatever he could to protect and be there for this young hero -- who just saved him.

 

 

When Steve has awakened again from being forced into a natural cryonics, 70 years later, it seemed that Captain America was made into the epitome of patriotism. Nowadays, the ultimate image of honor and courage people were aspired to be. 

Steve would never expect this was one of many possibilities when he volunteered his life for the nation in the 1940s. 

That young man from Brooklyn might prepare to die in the war, yet he was so unaware of sacrifices he would be forced to make in order to protect his homeland. Even today, the super soldier was still having trouble adjusting to life in the modern era. He still felt out of place, and out of time. The older man whose soul got trapped in the young body, drifting between the yearn to be with his own people of the past and carving his place in the foreign world where all his beloved ones were long gone.

Despite the weight of grief in his heart, Steve wasn’t a talkative person. He spoke only what was necessary. Still, he secretly wished that he could get drunk sometimes. So, he would have an excuse to wail his sorrow and mourn his loss. 

Instead, Steve drew.

 

He found a quiet spot under the shade of an old oak tree in the central park. After his morning jogging session finished, Steve would sit here and started drawing. It helped him relaxed. 

However, as today his mind kept wandering to the memories of his childhood friend whom he recently discovered was still alive, Steve’s hand began to sketch a portrait of the Winter Soldier. People still came up empty-handed trying to track down the Hydra’s former assassin. Steve was very guilty to find that this news relieved him. Somewhere out there, a dangerous fugitive was roaming free but all he could care was that Bucky was alive.

Yet, Steve couldn’t be able to reach to him – to Sgt. James Buchanan Barns, Steve Rogers’s best friend whom he wondered with trepidation whether he was still there in that deadly assassin.

Too preoccupied with his work, Steve wasn’t aware of the form hanging upside down from the tree’s branch and watching him with fascination.

“Didn’t know that you can draw! It’s really fantastic, Cap!” Spider-Man chirped cheerfully.

Let’s just say that this wasn’t a wise decision, sneaking behind Captain America was a big do-not. Later, Peter needed to thank his Spidey-sense because without it the web-slinger wouldn’t be able to dodge a punch from the enhanced soldier whom he accidentally startled. Nevertheless, moving so fast to avoid getting punched square in the face made Peter lose his balance. The spider, hence, dropped down to the grass with a thud.

“Wah!” 

“Son, don’t you sneak behind people. It’s a bad manner.” Steve gave their recent member a reprimand after seeing who was ambushing him. The masked vigilante immediately looked guilty after getting scolded by the nation’s hero. Steve shook his head and resumed his drawing. Seeing that, the webhead scooted closer to have a better look at the captain’s art.

“Can I watch you, Captain?” Peter asked, already brightened up but this time didn’t forget to be respectful.

“Don’t you have works to do?”

“Nah, I’m free. Nailed all college works. A Spidey-selfie for J.J also done! I’ve been patrolling this morning. Nothing exciting happened so far. Then, I saw you!”

“…That’s fine. You can watch but you have to be quiet. Or you would draw unnecessary attention to us.”

“Promise! I’ll sip my mouth!”

A few minutes passed and Steve saw the boy already squirming. The super soldier couldn’t help a faint smile on his lips. Like a child, Spider-Man couldn’t keep silent even in life-or-death situations and Steve didn’t have to wait long because Peter finally succumbed to his curiosity.

“Who is this person?” Peter asked, looking at the sketch of the Winter Soldier. Most of the information about the Hydra’s killer was carefully kept from the public eye. Even in the superhero community, his file was still a highly classified data. No one knew much about the Winter Soldier or his affiliation with the war hero, James ‘Bucky’ Barns. Steve hesitated a little, then he decided to go with the truth. 

“He is a war criminal, a fugitive who people want dead… but he used to be my friend.”

A simple question opened a gate of suppressed memories. There was information that he shouldn’t be telling their youngest member or anyone, but unbeknownst to himself, Steve found himself smile sadly as he started recalling to Spider-Man about his old times with Bucky.

 

Knowing that he perhaps spoke too much, Steve apologized,  
“Sorry that I suffocated you with my recollection. You might be very bored.”

“You miss him,” Peter said in his soft voice. Steve paused for a moment, various emotions flickering in his blue eyes when he gave out a melancholic smile.

“I do. However, I can’t just go find him. I’m not just Steve Rogers but I’m also Captain America. My action represents the Avengers –I couldn’t just act on my feeling. Actually, advice has been giving to me lately. To give up on him… after all, nothing guarantees that my friend is still there.” 

“You can’t,” Peter interjected instantaneously which had Steve look at him in surprise. 

“You can’t just give up on him and you know that” the young hero clarified this time, voice firm with a confidence that his childhood hero wouldn’t abandon someone even said person was a wanted criminal.

“Recently, I’ve met a guy. He is… a troublemaker too. People, even himself, keep saying that he is beyond saving. But that’s not true. There are still good for everyone. Everyone can be saved if you give them a chance. A hope to change for better.”

Steve knew Peter was very young, and there were many times that the hero showed the side of his inexperience. However, there was a time, like this very moment that his statement was definitely not from naivety but it came from the seasoned hero whose will remained unshakable throughout the hardship of his heroic life.

And Steve was thankful for Peter’s faith, for banishing ‘hero fatigue’ from his weary heart. 

“You’re right. Thank you, Peter,” He smiled at the webhead whose face promptly turned a dark shade of red. He just received a compliment from Captain America, of course, Peter was allowed to be blushing! 

“Y…You’re welcome” Peter stuttered.

“Hey, want to join me and Sam for tomorrow jogging at the Compound?” 

“Oh yeah, can’t wait to beat that Birdman again!” Peter grinned back.

 

When Tony insisted on enlisting Spider-Man, Steve strongly disagreed because he didn’t want a young person with bright future like Peter to be caught in the Avengers’ problems which were larger and more complicated than crime fighting at a local scale the hero had done. However, Steve was glad that he got a chance to know Peter. 

 

 

With Steve’s invitation, Peter’s visit to the Avengers Compound had become frequent. 

That was how Peter became a friend to Scarlet Witch who was currently under a temporary detention from her previous participation in the Ultron incident. 

Older than Peter just a few years, Wanda’s life was a real tragedy; spending most of her life in torture to get the power for revenge only to lose her twin brother in the war. Then, her attempt to redeem herself got backfired and now she was struck in the compound. Vision stayed with her and that was the only reason why she could maintain her sanity. Still, like the lost children, they both lacked experience, and not just about being heroes but lacking in general about navigating life in the world. Until Peter came to be their unofficial life coach.

Wanda liked the small spider since the first day they met. With her empathic ability, she could sense immediately the purity of his heart. Unlike other agents, whom she knew without touching, how afraid they were of her and Vision, she found no fear in Peter’s eyes, only fascination. 

And he was really cute and wonderful like she expected him to be. 

When they trained, Peter was always complimenting her ‘beautiful magic’ and Vision’s ‘awesome laser beam.’ No one told Wanda like this before. Vision arched his eyebrow, the habit that he did when he found something intriguing, but Wanda was pleased.

 

Despite him being younger, Wanda considered Spider-Man her senior hero as he’d been a hero even before she got her power. So, Wanda decided to seek advice from him. Adorably, Peter puffed his chest with a pride when she told him that –he often complained to her too that being treated like a child was annoying and it was good to hear that someone considered him experienced. 

So, Wanda thought it might not be a good idea to tell him yet that she also thought he was so adorable and she sometimes wanted to squeeze his cheeks.

Anyway, she knew that the media had been hard on him, calling him a menace and slandering his fame. Their fate wasn’t that different. While Scarlet Witch barely endured this misunderstanding, Peter’s tolerance of fraudulence baffled her. 

“How could you tolerate all the lies that people are spreading about you? I don’t understand why you still help them even though they hate you – fear you?” Wanda asked when they were preparing lunch after a training session, her voice soft and her vulnerability reflecting in her dark brown eyes.

Vision also looked at Peter, “I wish to know your answer to Wanda’s inquiry as well, Mr. Parker.”

Wanda’s serious question really caught Peter off-guard. He took a brief pause to consider it carefully, knowing that whatever he said would significantly counsel Scarlet Witch’s hard decision on heroism.

“Yeah, there are always those people who hate Spider-Man, and superheroes in general. In my unpaid career of a street vigilante, I’ve met this kind of people who would yell at me for saving their lives. It’s quite discouraging – that your efforts aren’t appreciated. But somehow knowing that by the end of the night, those people I saved could return to home, to their families safely, is enough a reason for me to put a suit on and continue fighting. That’s how I think,” Peter explained. He was always nervous when someone was looking at him expectantly to say something important. And Peter wasn’t really confident with his rhetoric skill. 

Seeing both of his friends still silent, Peter felt the urge to add something in hope that it’d lighten their mood,

“Also! I work for Jameson, you know. The man really hates Spider-Man, and he’s not got a clue yet that he’s been financially supporting Spider-Man throughout those years. I think it’s a sweet revenge.”

It was working, he thought because Wanda broke into a laugh. 

 

“This is such a peculiar picture. Never once I thought I’d see this and I have a great imagination.” Tony told Clint as they both watched a small group gathering at the corner of the Compound’s living room to listen Peter giving a lecture on the history of sci-fi movies. It appeared that Wanda and Vision knew nothing about pop-culture and couldn’t catch Peter’s nerdy references. This discovery horrified Peter. Immediately, he proclaimed his duty to introduce them to the greatness that was of Star War trilogy and other films. Hence, the beginning of Saturday seminar.

Clint nodded, “Wanda is getting better.” Seeing the Scarlet Witch whom he promised her dying brother to protect looking alive and happy again diminished Hawkeye’s concerns. And he owed a big thank to their spider. Moreover, this was very entertaining to watch too. There weren't many times that you could watch Captain Steve Rogers sitting on the floor and taking a note like a good student.

 

 

“You like him,” Clint stated matter-of-factly to his fellow superspy who was standing close to him as they watched their new members training in the gym. Natasha gave him a curious glance, pretending to not understanding his comment. 

“Who?”

“Your spider protégé,” Clint nagged, “Come on, Tasha. Don’t play dumb.”

The former Russian spy shrugged nonchalantly. “He’s not mine. Tony’s.”

“Yet, you agreed with him and Cap to train this Spider-boy. And Black Widow never teaches anyone.”

Still, pretending that she didn’t care, Natasha said, “His inexperience irritates me and his fighting style consists too many unnecessary movements. It’s to our best advantage that he doesn’t get himself killed – why are you still grinning, Barton?”

The marksman just grinned back, “Just admit it. You have a soft spot for that boy.”

Natasha didn’t. Instead, she crossed her arms and gave him her trademark glare which let Clint knew that he’d better stop his teasing now. So, putting his hand up in a surrender gesture he excused himself to go check the kids and left Black Widow with her thought.

Natasha never denied Clint’s accusation of her fondness on Spider-Man. It was pointless. Clint and she knew each other too well that they both could see through the other’s lies.

She never had the privilege of a normal childhood as she was put into the path of Black Widow, that of deceit and blood since she was young. Nothing about Natasha Romanov was innocent, and because of that, she was pretty good at uncovering the mask of the pretentious saints and destroying them. However, just because she mastered the clandestine art, it didn’t mean that she enjoyed shredding blood. In fact, Natasha felt sick of herself, of that monster beneath the beautiful camouflage. 

Perhaps, that was why she wished to be close to someone of innocence, like a sinner desperate for the ray of light. 

The existence of Spider-Man was a bafflement. Pain, betrayal and heartbroken always weaken people’s will, but in Peter’s case, his heart still seemed untarnished by the world’s cruelty. The young hero was still having his wide-eyed attitude of a child and unfaltering kindness which he gave to everyone even someone like Black Widow. 

Peter Parker was a real mess who constantly choking himself with his own awkwardness, especially when he tried to make a casual conversation with her. Also, he was the same masked hero who sought her advice on fighting techniques without being intimidated by her reputation. He got his ass handed to him by her many times, still kept getting up and coming back. Peter wasn’t scared at all.

He was such a foolish boy for trusting his back to Black Widow.

 

“Natasha! I brought Aunt May’s cookies. You should try them before Clint eats them all.” A yell from across the floor brought her back from her reverie. Peter was smiling widely and waving at her. In his hand spot a container filled with homemade baked good. Clint was behind him chewing his own share.

“Keep coming with this good stuff, kiddo,” he moaned mouthful and clearing enjoying Aunt May’s coconut biscuits. With his hand still covered in crumbs, he ruffled Peter’s head playfully. The young hero yelped in annoyance, smacking the marksman’s hand from his head.

“Stop doing this! I’m not a kid! And Clint -- don’t speak when you’re chewing because ugh,” Peter frowned disapprovingly at Clint’s horrible etiquette.

Perhaps it was because of the little spider’s annoyed face that Natasha couldn’t help but walk toward them and gave Peter's hair a ruffle too.

“Even you?!” Peter groaned.

Natasha smirked, “You need to learn to conceal your frustration, little spider. Or one day you might reveal your secret when someone riles you up.”

At her remark, the young brunette blushed and immediately avoided her eyes. He missed a chance to see Black Widow’s cold eyes softened a little.

 

 

Bruce was terrified of sociality. Back then, when he was just Bruce Banner, he was already a shy and private scientist. And now with his ‘big green’ problem? Bruce thought he better stayed out of human civilization. He didn’t know why he let Tony talk him into staying in the big city with so many people. New York and its metropolitan environment weren't really good for his fragile sanity. 

Most of the time, Bruce just hid in his room or Tony’s workshop. Tony insisted that they were ‘science bros’ hence, Bruce always had a permission to tinker whatever he liked in the best laboratory of New York. Bruce was pretty okay with this arrangement because Tony didn’t demand him to mingle with other people and he could do what he loved, reading and working for science.

Then, one day his fellow scientist asked him to meet their youngest member. Bruce was nervous.

“Tony, I don’t think this is a good idea,” the timid scientist said for thousand times today but his billionaire friend still didn’t take a heed of his warning. 

“Don’t be shy, Brucie. Peter is a good kid and a science enthusiast. You’ll like him.”

“Young and energetic. Great.” Bruce muttered grumpily. There was a lot of reason why Bruce avoided people. He was bad at making a conversation that wasn’t science-related. The big guy in him also disliked a meaningless and uncomfortable chitchat. They both hated the way people stared at him with tepidity and fear that he might hulk out any moment like a mindless monster. Only if they could know that their tiptoeing around him made Bruce too tired to even be mad.

 

Anyway, it turned out Bruce wasn’t the only nervous mess in the room. Peter’s face was very red as he stuttered how glad he was to be able to meet his childhood idol.

Bruce blinked owlishly behind his glasses, very surprised, “I’m your idol?”

“Yes! I’ve read all your papers on gamma radiation!” Peter squealed like a fanboy as he started listing his favorite articles which Bruce published. Yes, Peter was enthusiastic but his eagerness wasn’t unwelcome. And their supposed-to-be brief meeting had extended to a long conversation. 

 

The next time Tony asked whether Peter could join their tinker time, Bruce didn’t object.

 

As much as he liked Peter, Bruce couldn’t say that the big guy would hold the same opinion. The Hulk was unpredictable and not a team player. With the exception of Thor who was basically a god, the Hulk with his raging tantrum was still dangerous to everyone even the people on his side.

That was why Spider-Man was told to avoid the Hulk during fights which Peter didn’t listen. They were fighting Doombots on the street and Peter had been too close to the Hulk. Steve immediately ordered him with his stern voice for Spider-Man to relocate himself somewhere safer. Out of stubbornness, Peter ignored the order. Like hell, Peter would be playing a supportive role when they were fighting a serious battle—he wasn’t a child. Therefore, Peter decided to pair himself with the only member who didn’t care about his age. The Hulk was really annoyed by the ‘bug boy’ swinging and shooting web around him, and attempted to scare him away by throwing several Doombots at him. Peter caught them easily with his web and slammed them to pieces on the ground.

His exhibition of strength somehow might impress the green monster. With a curt nod, he reluctantly allowed Spidey to stick with him. It turned out they surprisingly had a high level of compatibility. Together, they became an unstoppable force that smashed the bots with an impressive speed. Peter whooped as he landed himself on the Hulk’s shoulder, clearly having his fun.

“That’s an awesome smash!” Spider-Man yelled his compliment when the Hulk smashed the last Doombot of the day. The powerful big guy just snorted.

After the battle finished, Still panting, Peter raised his hand to hi-five the Hulk. Everyone watched in panic as the green monster sent Spidey’s small body rolling down a few feet away with his strong slap. Instead of a moan of pain, Peter just laughed.

“I know we would be a kick-ass duo!” The web-slinger shouted enthusiastically, very looking forward to the next time that they could team-up. And they all could see the corner of the Hulk’s mouth lifted slightly.

 

So, there were not many things that Bruce and the big guy could agree with each other, but he could see that the Hulk liked Peter as much as Bruce did.  
That was why when the television in Bruce’s room played a live news about the current fight between the Sinister Six and Spider-Man, and Bruce was in time to see the slap shot by one of the robotic arms of Dr. Octopus that sent the web-slinger into the building wall…

He went ‘green.’

 

 

Meanwhile, Tony and Steve were in the meeting room to discuss the Avengers’ future under the Sokovia Record. They knew that the best way to keep everyone from being put a leash on by Ross was to lay low for a while and let local vigilantes handle middle or local-scaled conflicts. After all, the record’s aim was to target the Avengers anyway, so those governments could control and order the mighty teams to do dirty works for them.

Steve and Tony’s relationship was complicated and often that their ideologies clashed. However, now they were responsible for the A team—the team that somehow grew into their home, and their family. As the Avengers’ de facto leaders, they realized that if they wanted to keep it, they needed to learn to put aside their feuds and worked together for the team and their young members.

“Is there anything else important that we should be dealing today?” Steve asked after finishing all papers. Tony’s brows furrowed in ponder, then the billionaire blurted out.

“Peter is dating someone, I know it.”

Steve’s eyebrows perched as he remembered the time in the park when Peter told him about someone whom he believed in, but Steve was too obsessed with his own grief to notice and ask Peter for further clarification. 

“Do you know who this person is?”

“I don’t. That’s why it’s a problem. Besides, his secret identity that he’d surprisingly kept from the world for 8 years, the kid couldn’t even lie to save his ass. But he’s so secretive about this person, not a blab. I wouldn’t be able to close my eyes until I could run a thorough check on this person’s criminal record, his background history, as well as his genealogical trees, seven generations up.”

Well, normally Steve would say that Tony was overreacting. However, this was about Peter, their very young and over-trusting member. He would call Tony’s concern reasonable. 

“Peter is a very private person. I hardly think he would appreciate us prying into his love life. Just be careful not to overwhelm him, okay?”  
“What? You’re not going to like-- stop me or tell me this is a bad idea?” Tony lifted his brows. Not like he would need Cap’s permission to do anything but it was just Captain America, the person whom Tony firmly believed that liked disagreeing with him just for the sake of disagreeing, didn’t object Tony’s plan to spy Peter’s mysterious boyfriend. This should be considered a miracle.

Steve chuckled, “you know, you’re not the only one who worries about him.”

Then, a booming sound of a crash and the Hulk’s roar had shaken their floor.

 

 

“Six against one. What a cowardice.” Steve frowned as both he and Iron Man rushed to the ground floor where Black Widow and Hawkeye were waiting for them, in their suits. Barton had his rare serious expression while Natasha looked furious and impatient. The Black Widow was already on her motorbike, ready to leave. Her thunderous face was enough to inform anyone that she didn’t plan to let anyone who dared to lay their filthy finger on her baby spider get out alive.

“That’s why they’re villains, Cap,” Tony muttered darkly.

“The Hulk is on his way to help Spider-Man,” Natasha reported, abruptly cutting their conversation.

“Do you want a lift again, Legolas?” Tony turned to ask Clint who shook his head. “Someone needs to go check on Wanda and help Vision calm her down. I bet she already saw the news. Her detention is almost over. Don’t want any more excuses for them to put her back in.”

Steve nodded.

Half of the Avengers assembled just to beat villains at the heart of the most busying city in the world. They knew it would definitely be consequences. However, at this moment they just didn’t give a damn. He and Tony would deal with Ross later.

 

Peter threw a fist and refused to tell them who was the person he was secretly dating.

“Why teens these days are so rebellious?” Tony complained after Peter left, completely discarding the fact that Peter was actually a 23-year-old college student. Furthermore, Tony himself used to be a very problematic adolescent as well. Clint couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

 

 

Clint knew who Peter’s secret boyfriend was, and he didn’t need to hack all security cameras in the city to find out too. That man told him in person.

Because of his easy-going attitude, SHIELD often assigned him to supervise works of their independent contractors and that was how Clint came to know Wade Wilson. Hawkeye and Deadpool did several missions together. He quite liked this guy so they hung out sometimes whenever the mercenary was back in New York. 

During their drinking at Wade’s favorite bar, the scarred mercenary revealed to him that he was seeing someone very special. Someone that was young, brunette, cute, and a Spider-Man photographer.

Clint spewed his drink. Wade turned to look at him funny.

This was to make it clear that Clint had no problems with Wade dating their newbie. In fact, he was glad that it was Wade because had it be anyone else, Clint would be joining his overprotective teammates to put an arrow on their butt. The marksman had seen the side of the gun for hire that many didn’t know. Like Wade cared for those whom he considered friends deeply. The Merc hated revealing his scars in the public but when he learned that Clint was deaf, he wasn’t hesitant to lift his mask above the nose so Clint could read his lip. 

That was why he didn’t spill a bean to his fellow heroes yet because Clint knew better that the clueless Merc wouldn’t have any luck with other Avengers. These oddballs had lost important people in their lives so many times that led to their protectiveness complex. Yeah, Clint had seen their aggressive methods in trying to protect Peter that he felt sympathy for the young hero. 

Also, as Wade’s friend, it was in their bro-code that Clint had to warn him.

“So, you’re dating Peter, Spider-Man?” 

Wade’s body went rigid at Clint’s simple question. When he spoke next, his tone got a little defensive, “Yeah, you have a problem with that?”

“No, I don’t. But you, my friend, are going to have one. Brace yourself.”

 

 

Preview:

“I don’t think this is a good idea, Tony. What if we scare his boyfriend? Peter wouldn’t forgive us.” Bruce said alarmingly after hearing the billionaire’s proposal of what to do with Deadpool. He really didn’t want to have a part in this madness. The Hulk just smashed Spider-Man’s villains, embarrassed him in the public and Bruce was guilty as hell. He didn’t want Peter to be pissed at them again.

“Him scared? Bruce, are you talking about Wade Fucking Wilson or a bunny?”

“Still, we have to try to be gentle with him, Tony,” Steve became a voice of reason. After all, Tony’s plan to ‘kick Deadpool’s ass to the outer space’ was not only insane but also impractical. “Besides, he doesn’t do anything wrong—at least for now,” Steve said as they all watched Peter and Wade walking in the park with ice-cream in their hands via Sam’s redwing. 

They looked very happy, perhaps, they were good to each other? 

Meanwhile, Vision asked Wanda in the background whether their method of gaining knowledge about the couple should be considered a breach of privacy.

Then, Wade lifted Peter’s chin up as he kissed the young man passionately.

The whole room cursed.

“Well, that was too far,” Steve said weakly.

“Okay, I ran out patience. I’ll call this-- let us introduce Wilson to a fucking whole new level of ‘meet the parents’.”


	3. The perk of having a healing factor (especially when you're dating the Avengers' precious baby)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delayed update and many thanks to all of you for your wonderful feedbacks and supports! I’ve been gnawing my fingers in anxiety for weeks waiting for my student visa to be approved, so I was unable to be productive, but it’s already approved! I’m coming to the UK this month for a Ph.D. XD Anyways, I hope you would find this last chapter entertaining!
> 
> Also, special thanks to CaseLC for the wonderful idea about Wade helping Cap find his Bucky ;)

Peter was very upset with the Avengers intervening his fight. 

The younger hero had turned up at Wade’s door, a big frown evident on his little face, so Wade suggested they go have a good walk in the park. There was nothing that the park’s ice-cream couldn’t fix anyway. Peter protested that Wade always bribed him with sweet treats like he was a kid but the prospect of free ice-cream was too tempting for the college student to resist. So, reluctantly, he said yes to the offer.

His baby boy was so adorable like that.

They were walking together in the park when Wade spotted it.

Among tree’s green leaves hiding a red bird-like drone which silently followed the couple for half an hour now. Beyond doubt, it was sent to spy on them by none other than Peter’s “superfamily” as Wade secretly loved to dub the Avengers. No sensible clandestine organization would pain their spying drone that bright shade of a color – of course, except you were working for justice, then Wade supposed it would make sense. Anyway, the audience needed that stupid color guidance to distinguish between main protagonists and random unimportant goons. That was why goons always wore brown pants by the way.

Okay, Wade might be straying from the topic. Let him analyzed his situation for his readers now: currently, Peter was still clueless that their privacy already got compromised, too busy helping himself with a third cone of chocolate ice-cream which Wade kept supplying him. He knew from the experience that the smaller man’s spider-sense wouldn’t warn him about the drone. As awesome as spider-sense was, its sole purpose was to protect Peter from danger. Hence, what didn’t fit in the threat category fell off its radar of detection. Wade didn’t plan to tell Peter about this too, or his baby boy’s mood would be ruined again. His money invested in ice-cream would be all for naught.

And to be frank, the Merc couldn’t care less about his compromised privacy. On the contrary, Wade couldn’t help but find this situation hella amusing. The whole world knew his identity and where he lived. He didn’t even bother to fix his broken door lock yet. If some idiots break in while Wade is lying on the sofa, gloriously naked and masturbating, and gets a heart attack, then it’s their own fucking fault not him. Still, prying into other people’s private life? The group of mighty heroes was behaving like a naughty, naughty kid. 

Couldn’t resist his nature call for mischief, Wade’s mind was already plotting a harmless little prank.

 

 

Peter’s hazel eyes widened in surprise. You would be if you’re being pulled into an embrace of a boyfriend who kissed you with such an unforeseen but fierce passion. It felt right, though. The scarred man loved to pull something like this, completely disregarded for place and time. However, Peter had long learned to enjoy the older man’s affection. Wade was cute in this weird way. There was one morning when Wade climbed into Peter’s bedroom through the unlocked window to ask for a kiss because he just made a very beautiful pancake, perfect shaped, fluffy and golden. So, he shrugged and gradually returned the kiss to the unbelievable man, the melting ice-cream in his hand forgotten.

“What occasion was that for?” The brunette couldn’t help but ask after the amazing kiss.

“Just feel like to show off to the world that you’re mine,” Wade simply offered but his blue eyes were sparkling mischievously. 

“Silly,” his boyfriend said before starting to lick off the trail of melting ice-cream on his hand. Hearing his lover’s hitched breath, Peter gave him a playful smile back. Wade grinned,

“Oh, but I can be a very serious man too. Let get us home and I’ll show ya.” 

With that, they both took off for home. On their way out of the park, Wade twirled his head to wink at the tree where he knew the drone was perching on its branch. 

‘That would serve those uncultured heroes a lesson,' he thought smugly. 

 

 

The only legitimate relative of Peter as far as Wade knew was Aunt May, the sweetest lady of all grandmas. The idea of meeting the woman who raised his beautiful baby boy was terrifying to the point that Wade started to have a nightmare. When the time for him to do a proper visit and ask May for a permission to date her nephew, Wade was practically a big nervous mass of 6’2’’ tall Canadian. 

And their first meeting did end disastrously, with Wade breaking May’s precious collection of Bone China. It was an accident and even though Wade profusely apologized with a promise to get her the newest and most expensive tea set, plus the original clay doll of Qin’s soldiers, he believed that he just fucked up his chance and she was going to hate him forever. But Aunt May was basically a saint. Instead of screaming at him, she found Wade’s character jovial. Moreover, she asked him to VISIT her again. Wade was over the moon. He would be in love with the lady, had not her nephew already captured his heart. 

Everything was going beautifully for Wade.

Then, Peter’s metaphorical family of bloodthirsty heroes had to emerge and hunt his ass for defiling their baby. Clint was seriously not joking around when he sternly warned Wade that he was in deep shit. He should listen to the archer, take both Petey and May with him and run back to his motherland of Canada, and hope for the best that the natural boundary and international politic bullshit could keep the Avengers off them.

Sadly, because Wade was still living in the US, he got woke up three in the morning by an annoyingly insisting series of knocks on his door. Waking up people at three in the bloody morning was justifiable a crime. So, the Merc decided to take his gun with him, grudgingly walked to the door and slammed it open wide so he could give a good shot on the intruder’s head.

Then, his jaw dropped to the floor. 

In front of him, stood Captain America in his glorious gray running uniform. The scene was too surreal that Wade needed to slap his face with the gun to make sure that he wasn’t still in his dreamland. Steve Rogers winced at his action.

“Good morning, Wilson,” the first Avenger greeted him politely, although awkwardly with a hesitant wave.

Wade failed to return the gesture. His sleepy brain still having a hard time proceeding so he blurted out the first thing in his mind,

“The fuck is this?” 

“Language, Wilson.” Steve scolded automatically. 

“Holy crap. You’re the real Captain America!!!” Wade shouted, fully awoke as the realization finally sunk in his brain that one of the Avengers was really HERE. “To what I owned the pleasure?”

Steve cringed again at Wade’s imprudent use of swear words. He started to wonder that this might not be a good idea. ‘Still, my plan is way better than Tony’s’ – Steve thought with an internal sigh. 

“You are invited to a morning run with me and Sam,” Steve announced like it was such an ordinary routine of him and Wade -- which was not, definitely. As much as Wade was flattered that his childhood hero showed up at his door and demanded him joining his merry jogging team, it was still suspicious as hell. More importantly, Deadpool didn’t do exercise, especially not in these godly hours before sunrise.

“No, thanks! Gotta do a beauty sleep.”

“No, you come with us. Go get dressed,” Steve didn’t take no for a response and decided to employ his ‘Captain’ voice. Peter once commented that his voice carried such a naturally charismatic authority which could have awakened the slumber patriotism in any American. Steve discovered today that it clearly worked on a Canadian mercenary pretty well. Automatically, the hypnotized Merc strengthened his body as he shouted from his lungs,

“Yes, sir!” With a salute, he ran back into his room to change. Steve secretly let out a sigh of relief.

 

 

Sam who was waiting for Steve to fetch the mercenary in the dark hallway immediately groaned at the sight of Wade’s running uniform which consisted of a neon pink crop top, purple shorts, big sunglasses, and a red cap with Deadpool logo.

“Hello, Bearer of the same surname. I’m the fabulous one!” Wade chirped. 

“I swear, Rogers. Next time, you force me into this shit, I’m going to charge you for money I’ll be needing for a therapy,” the traumatized Falcon threatened.

 

 

Because Wade lived in a run-down apartment so it was expected that the elevator was out of service. There, the peculiar assembly of heroes and a mercenary had to make use of stairs to reach the ground. On their way to the nearest street, Wade piped up with his cheery voice,

“My memories might not be a reliable source of the reality check but I’m pretty sure that I don’t see this in my today appointment before. I mean, I would remember if the real Captain America (, and not a cosplayed stripper) invited me to join his morning run, right? Could you please remind me what have I done to deserve your golden presence be graced upon my humble me, O Captain! My captain?”

Steve chuckled, “Sorry about knocking your door unannounced. I just feel like I want to know you better, Wilson. But I don’t want it to be too informal. A casual talk during a jogging sounds more appealing– wouldn’t you say?”

The super soldier didn’t offer his explanation why he wanted to get to know ‘Deadpool’ of all sudden and Wade didn’t ask. It was like dancing in a kickboxing ring, all you need was to watch for the other’s next attack. Wade was stealing their golden boy and now one of the dads was making the first move. Admittedly, he was quite disappointed that it was Steve. The Captain America had a great booty undeniably but he was too pacifist for Wade’s taste. It seemed like a boring lecture was all Wade was gonna get rather than something more exciting. Like the Hulk’s iconic smash. Or Repulsor Beam. 

“Let do a lap around Manhattan – is that fine with you, Deadpool?”

Eh?

If you’re curious, the length of Manhattan was approximately 50 kilometers. It was not a simple chilling run. Steve Rogers just suggested a fucking ultra marathon.

“It is going to be a long talk. We have so much to learn about each other, haven’t we, Wilson? But it’s okay if you want to return to your bed.” Steve smiled at him but his blue eyes sparkled with a challenge that Wade could definitely not back off. So, he grinned back with all teeth showing. He had to impress Peter’s ‘pop’ after all.

“You’re on!”

In the background, the forgotten Sam groaned again, “You gotta be kidding me!”

 

 

Sam said bye before the dawn. He was a man who accepted his human limits. Sam only came to finish his normal lap. He wasn’t that insane to compete for an Olympic-level marathon against an enhanced super soldier and a crazy mercenary with a healing factor. Now, the veteran was sitting at a nice café, having a nice breakfast and leaving those monsters to finish their run.

 

 

Meanwhile, somewhere in Manhattan, the running partners continued in silence, with the exception of a few times which Rogers eyed Wade with a slight respect as the Merc effortlessly kept up with him. Steve was impressed. It was nice actually to have a running partner who could keep up with his speed. Peter could but the boy was really not an early bird.

Hours after the beginning of the run and no signs that the captain would speak any sooner, Wade was the one who broke the ice. He didn’t like silence. It unsettled him.

“Soo, are you doing this often?”

“Doing what?”

“Intimidating Peter’s suitors.”

Steve laughed. “No. There are no suitors to be worried before. Even if they are, we would never go this extent to startle a civilian.”

“Hmm, I guess I’m very special!”

“You’re – indeed an exceptional case,” Steve agreed cautiously. 

“Of course, I am. After all, I’m an insane, ugly avocado-with-teeth motherfucker, homicidal, plus immortal mercenary! It is an ideal package of a boyfriend for your kid, isn’t? I would admit that I’m a little let down when you guys didn’t send me immediately to the Raft. I want to visit that place!” Wade pouted like a child whose parents denied to take him to a Disneyland. 

Steve frowned. Earlier to today, Tony was so into the similar idea of locking the mercenary for good. It was Natasha who discouraged him by pointing out that his crazy plan wouldn’t be working even though he invested so many resources into it. It was almost an impossible task to build a prison that could lock an immortal inside. Also, it was so immoral. It wasn’t how Steve liked to deal with problems. 

“I’ve heard you changed, Wade.” 

Straightforwardness was perhaps the last thing Wade expected from the older hero’s answer. Steve regarded the slightly tensed body of the mercenary. He knew that Wilson suspected his agenda. Deadpool’s distrust of him was reasonable, provided that the Avengers and the Merc with a Mouth had never been on a good term before. However, Steve genuinely wanted exactly what he told the mercenary at the beginning. He just wanted to know him. He still disapproved Deadpool’s way of living. Like his teammates, he was stunned that their Spider-Man chose to be with him of all people. But upon seeing the way he and Peter looked at each other in the park gave Steve a pause to thought. Surely, Deadpool was dishonorable but there must be a man beneath the famous red-and black mask who made Peter happy, and Steve wanted to give the person a chance. It was a good time to put the idiom ‘not judging a book by its cover’ into practice.

“You asked me why I want to meet you. This is the reason: I don’t want to rush to judge. You’re dating Spider-Man, a member of my team. He is a good kid whom I care about. We ‘all’ do. It is his choice to date you but I take it to my responsibility to look after him whether he likes it or not –he isn’t going to be happy about this, I’m quite certain,” Steve chuckled at the thought of the fuming young hero before continuing, “I’ve checked information all about you that can be accessed on and off-line. I take note in the inactivity in your mercenary career for past six months. You have done a good job, I must say.”

“You bring stalking to another level, Capsicle. Can’t decide whether to be flattered or calling a lawyer.” Wade coughed to hide his blushing. He would be a terrible liar to deny that Captain America’s praise didn’t affect him. It was like having a fresh-tomato certification on your soul. 

“Regardless of your improvement, I still want to meet you in person to see whether I could trust Peter with you.” 

“And what have you seen so far?” 

“Your observation skill is better than you let on, Wade, judging how fast you spot Sam’s drone. Cannot you deduct from my body language?” Steve countered easily. Captain America had no need for those shallow taunts and threats. He didn’t bother to deepen his voice to let people know that he meant business. He was still gentle in the way he carried the conversation but it was indeed intimidating. And Wade had seen a fair share of intimidating shit in his life. Yup, he started to feel nervous.

“Hmm, I guess this is when I should cease goofing around and try to be serious, right? So against the nature of my character. It’s really hard to be serious when you’re created as an inside joke, to make fun of the other comic’s character—“

“Wade,” Steve warned.

“Oops, sorry. Strayed off the topic. But you can see it, right? For me, it is hard to do thing right. It is hard to be an alright person. I’ve always fucked things up but that’s okay because they are nothing of importance anyway. I can afford to not care when something got blown up. But then he swung into my life and stubbornly refused to give me up like other sane people -- Because of that, I’m trying to be better for him.”

Almost the same time as Wade finished his say, they just reached the last checkpoint of their private marathon which was Wade’s apartment. The sun was already above their head. Steve was looking thoughtful which made Wade kinda nervous. Twitching his hands in anxiety, Wade tried again,

“Umm, I’m trying to be better right? The key word is trying. A better version of myself who is worthy of Petey’s love, even if that’s ever possible, is still pending. How about we arrange another meeting in a far of future so you could come and inspect my trustworthy value again?” 

Finally, Steve let out a soft chuckle. “I still have time. Let’s do another lap.”

“Eh?!” Wade was appalled. He might have a healing factor but his regenerating ability didn’t think fatigue was that physically significant enough to get its lazy ass at work and heal his tired muscles. He might manage to keep up with Steve but his legs now were visibly wobbling. So he tried to whimper as pathetic as possible in hope that Steve would let him go. The good captain masterfully dismissed his bodily begging for mercy.

“Shorter route, I promised.”

 

 

Peter came to find Wade sprawling on his floor with tenth boxes of pizza, several large gallons of water. The unbearable stench of sweat that strongly hit his delicate olfactory buds made Peter immediately pinched his nose.

“What the heck? Did you just fill a bathtub with sweat and proceed to bath in that fluid of bodily waste for hours?”

“I’m dying from dehydration! And starvation!” Wade moaned, mouth full of half-chewed pizza.

“You can’t die, Wade,” Peter reminded him.

“Petey bae, have you ever considered moving to Canada?” As Wade was being delirious so Peter ignored his childishness. “No. Get a bath, Wade. You smell disgusting.”

 

 

“That’s a bad idea, Rogers. Bad,” Sam emphasized while sipping his coffee after hearing to Steve’s plan. They were currently in Sam’s office. 

“It’s a pilot project. I have a feeling that he’s going to turn out fine.” Steve didn’t give up.

“Let me repeat what you just said. You told me that you are going to tell others that you want Deadpool to participate in missions with the Avengers in hope that they would warm up to each other?” Sam said dryly. “It’s likely going to be a killing field.”

Steve pouted. “You’re being pessimistic. I met him. Surely, he has flaws but I find his attempt to change for Peter a brave action. Supporting him is a right thing to do.”

When Steve believed in something or someone, nothing could change his mind. The persistence for righteous causes that Spider-Man seemed to be sharing with. As much as Sam pretended to be annoyed with the kid, he secretly cared for him. But kid seriously had to pick a murderous mercenary? And now Steve must have to invite the aforementioned man to work with them? Someone was going to get killed. Unfortunately, in the end, all Sam could do was to resign to the inevitable fate or maybe book a very long holiday trip.

 

 

An invitation to have a partnership with the Avengers was like to be invited to play in a cage full of angry lions whose cub got stolen by a poacher and you were that poacher. Sadly, Wade couldn’t say no to Captain America’s face. It would feel like betraying the country even though he was a Canadian migrant. Nevertheless, clearly someone wasn’t very happy with this idea because on a few night later, Wade came home to find Black Widow lounging on his sofa. 

It was real scary because he didn’t even sense her presence in the room until he managed to shut his door with one hand, balance several boxes of takeout food with his another hand, before migrating to his favorite spot in front of the T.V. 

And she was there on his couch. 

As beautiful as she was deadly, flipping on an old magazine, the famous Black Widow was looking like she owned the place. The mama spider definitely wasn’t here for a girly chit chat as she didn’t waste a single time after sensed Wade’s approaching footsteps from the corner of her eyes, to pin him to the wall of his own house with the sharp point of her black Prada. Wade’s takeout boxes dropped and splashed on the floor. The tragic fate of delicious food which was gone before eaten broke Wade’s heart.

“Wasting food is a crime,” the bigger man choked out a sob.

“Good evening, clown” Natasha greeted back, no traces of friendliness in her voice. “I take it that Steve did such a poor job in informing you about a certain thing. Allow me to get it straight into your thick skull, Wilson: you don’t deserve him.” 

Now, Wade was starting to have a breathing problem. One would if their windpipe was slowly crushing by a heel. Nevertheless, he still managed to wheeze, “In your opinion, no man is good enough to deserve him.”

It seemed his response was right because Natasha finally revealed her smirk. “Now, we’re on the same page.” At that, she gracefully unpinned his throat. Wade dropped down to the floor, clutching and rubbing his neck with exaggerating groan and cough while Natasha regarded him with her cold calculating eyes. This idiot at her feet might seem like an annoying fool who took nothing seriously but she knew too well that he could be a cold-hearted killer in an instant if needed. It takes one to know one. She didn’t trust Deadpool, especially with him to be near Spider-Man. 

However, it was the boy’s happiness that was her mission. If Peter really wanted this stray dog then she would make sure it better behave.

“I’ll make it short and simple. If you even think of breaking his heart, I’m crushing your sorry life. Start with your penis.”

Wade let out a terrified yelp and instinctively clutching his crotch. Many people threatened Wade’s life before, few even specified about his family jewel, but no one’s threat could make Wade shuddered like Black Widow did. The woman was real scary. His balls were practically trying to crawl back into his body.

Natasha smiled sweetly at his cowering form. With a short “Good talk,” she sauntered out of his room and disappeared like a shadow. 

 

 

Natasha’s visit might be brief but it was terrifying to the point that Wade immediately made a call to crash at Weasel’s place. How could he possibly close his eyes at night when she could walk in any minute and neuter him?

Peter who paid him a visit the same night was very confused to not find the older man who promised him of a movie and take-out night in his own apartment. So, he phoned Wade.

The moment the Merc picked up, he started bombarding Peter’s ear,

“Petey! Please move back to Canada with me!” Wade's voice sounded frantic. “Have our citizenship! We have maple syrups, beavers’ asses that smell of vanilla --- and Ryan Reynolds! There are so many seniors in Canada for Aunt May to throw a killer tea party every day. Oh! And tall building for you to swing, and there is no bloodlust Aven—“

“Wade, you’re speaking in riddles. Where are you?”

“At Weasel’s. Probably going to stay the night for safety in case that the mama spider returns –“

“Hold on. You said you’re staying in the bar?” Peter narrowed his eyes. Weasel’s bar meant lots of beautiful waitresses, and Wade’s EX, who would soon be all over Wade. “You can tell me your tale later. Now, you’re coming to stay the night at mine.”

“Petey—that’s not gonna end well for me! I love to be at your, baby boy, but see I just met the scary—“

“Now.”

 

 

At the common room of the Tower, the discussion was ongoing between the Avenger residents.

“You had to be that harsh on him?” Steve frowned at Natasha who was sipping a tea with her usual cool expression.

“That’s the point of the whole ‘meet the parent’ idea, Steve.” She put her finished cup on its saucer and gave him her small secretive smile. A smile that she always used when she found Steve was so naïve. Steve disliked it.

“He isn’t that bad when you get to know him –well most of the time.” Clint tried to defend but had to shut his mouth quickly when Black Widow glared at him.

“You should have broken a couple of bones,” Tony commented.

“Do it yourself, Stark. I’m not doing a dirty job for you.”

“I’m not letting you convince the other guy to do it for you too,” Bruce said without taking his eyes from a book he was currently reading, clearly having stayed with the billionaire long enough to predict how his mind worked. Tony huffed in annoyance.

 

 

After the Black Widow’s incident, Wade totally forgot about the whole pilot project he had with Captain America until an army of aliens of the week attacked New York and he got a mysterious call to save the world. So, Wade dutifully showed up in the middle of the battle, scratching his head and trying to remember who called him.

When he saw Spider-Man webbing his way to his location, then he remembered. This was the time to kick ass and showed Spidey’s team his crazy skills and let true love conquered all odds!

“Baby boy!” Wade shouted happily at his favorite hero. The webhead, on the other hand, seemed not to feel enthusiastic at meeting him.

“Deadpool?! Why you are here in the middle of the fight?!” Spidey was confused. Sure thing that Deadpool and Spider-Man teamed up every night – it was kind of a couple thing, right now -- but they never interfere with each other’s works before, especially when they wanted to keep the relationship a secret. Before Peter had a chance to ask the red mercenary, another annoyed voice cut in sharply.

“Yes, who invited this nuisance?” Ironman landed to the ground near the couple while still shooting alien’s flying mobile in the sky. 

“Don’t call him like that!” Spidey narrowed his eyes and immediately defended Deadpool, which made Steve had to rush to the site and put a stop to any dispute.

“I called him to assist us,” Steve told everyone via the communication earpieces. Judging from his grimace, it seemed feedbacks he received from other Avengers weren’t positive.

“Didn’t I veto your plan? Never listen to others’ advice, don’t you, Rogers?” Tony sounded like he wanted to start a fight. Steve was ready to counter but then the booming sound of something exploded interrupted their argument. Tony grumbled before preparing to take a flight. “I’m not finished yet. We’re going to have a long talk about who should we invite to the party later.”

“Stranded marriage?” Wade babbled, not knowing when to shut up as usual. Steve sighed.

“Deadpool, try to be helpful and do not make me regret this.” 

As Steve departed to check another area, Spidey turned his large oval eyes to Deadpool. Since when Cap had Wade’s contact? Something might be going on behind Peter’s back recently.

“We need to talk about this later too.” 

Wade sweated. A talk with Peter often ended in a torturous week of no sexes.

 

 

He was feeling annoyed right now. Deadpool was at his best throughout the fight. However, whenever he tried to move closer to assist Spidey, watching his back like they usually did for each other during team-ups, some of the Avengers would randomly pop up like a guard dog to keep him away from helping his baby boy. It was fucking annoying. Peter also sensed the frustration oozing from his boyfriend but he couldn’t do anything much while trying to save the city. 

Hence, after the battle ended and the Avengers was busy searching for survivors, Spider-Man swung back to Deadpool and raised his hand for a high five to let the Merc know that Peter was proud of him.

He failed to see a mischievous grin evident through his lover’s mask and too late to stop Wade from his suicidal prank as the mercenary, instead of slapping his hand, slapped Peter’s ass with a yell “Booty high-five!”

The consequence was immediate. 

Before he realized, Wade was sent flying into the air and unceremoniously hit an abandoned car with a loud crash. He could practically felt his every rib cracked. From a distant, he heard the Hulk’s furious roar and a horrified gasp from Spidey.

“Wade!” Peter quickly reached the mercenary’s lying form. Slowly lifting his head, Wade saw the green gummy bear, the agent of his current pain and paralysis, was pointing his thick two fingers at him in the manner of “I’m fucking watching you.”

Well, one of his wishes was granted alas.

 

 

Spider-Man eventually cornered the Hulk to give him a reprimand.

“That’s bad, Hulk, very bad!”

“Hulk did right! Talking man did bad!” The Hulk huffed, turning his face away like a stubborn kid who refused to get scolded.

Even though Wade was the injured one, he sadly couldn’t escape Peter’s lecture too.

“It was your fault too, Wade. You intentionally provoked him.” 

“But they started it first!” Wade whined. Peter’s delicate brows arched. “That reminds me you still own me an explanation. Now spill it out.”  
Peter was pissed at the Avengers but Wade was also found guilty of withholding the information. So, no sex as a punishment.

 

 

“Hey man.” It was Clint Barton this time who appeared at his door.

“Are you going to give me a dad talk too?!” Wade shrieked and pointed his forefinger accusingly at Clint. After having already met three Avengers, it was justifiable that he was allowed to be a bit paranoid.

“Wow, wow. Calm down, man. I brought pizza and beer.” The archer hurriedly said. As Wade still eyed him with suspicion, Clint reassured, “I promise this is for chilling. No threats, interrogations, or physical assaults involved.”

Wade burst into tears. Finally, someone on his side. Friendship was indeed magic.

As Clint spent hours with Wade playing video games he noticed something. Wade’s room looked emptier than usual. The Merc didn’t possess many belongings but now all furniture in his room was disappeared and many boxes stacked on the floor was a big hint that he was moving out.

“Dude, where are you moving to?”

“Well—about that—“Wade was avoiding eye contact with Clint which really made him started to get concerned. Then, the archer gasped “Holy shit! You’re going to hell for sure this time.”

Wade rolled his eyes. “So much mental supports I’ve received from you, Barton.” 

 

 

Wanda was walking past the common room in time to see the mighty heroes behave like a group of teenagers who got scolded from their parent. In their case, it was Peter who delivered the lecture about respecting people’s boundaries and something along the line “Do not harass my boyfriend again.” Their stunned faces were so hilarious, Wanda couldn’t help but snicker. It served them right. Sadly, it seemed the so-called adults still couldn’t understand what they did wrong to warrant Peter’s wrath. 

Here we go again.

“He used to be so cute back then. Always listened to me. It’s like just this yesterday! How much I miss those ‘Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark! Look at me!’” Tony began his dramatic lament.

Steve just shook his head at Tony. “Now, you see why I always insist us to be patient and polite with Deadpool because if we don’t, it would hurt Peter’s feeling.”

“Hey! It was you who invited that man to the party and I did veto that plan!”

“You don’t have veto power, Tony. No one has.”

“You still rushed your plan, Steve. We agreed to take it 'slow'.” Bruce mumbled tiredly while nursing his cup of Chamomile tea to soothe his throbbing headache. “Because of the Hulk’s smash, now I own Deadpool an apology.”

“Ha! See, even Bruce agrees with me!”

“Don’t pretend to be the innocent one in this, Stark. Because of that loose-tongued bastard, Peter now knows you’ve abused Sam’s Redwing to spy on them.” Natasha was looking thunderous without any of Thor’s thunder effects. Deadpool was so going to pay the price for being a snitch. 

“But I conceived him. Redwing is mine as much as it’s Sam’s.”

“See, that is the reason why Sam is hanging out with Scott and his mentor lately.” Annoyed, Nat countered back.

Hearing their banter, Wanda couldn’t help but roll her eyes. She might not know much about Deadpool’s reputation but she trusted in Peter’s judgment of people. And love was love regardless of any differences. She started to wonder that she might be the only reasonable adult in this situation, well, with the exception of Clint, her unofficial mentor who still behaved like a decent person. The archer said nothing during the team bitching, just eating his bowl of popcorn in silence.

“Hey, Wanda.” Suddenly, Clint noticed her. The other stopped their argument and looked at her curiously too. 

“I’ve not seen you and Vision all day –where have you been?” Steve asked. After her detention was over, Wanda spent her freedom outside most of the time, exploring the city with Vision. Rarely seeing the couple in the tower now during the day. 

Wanda was going to answer that but Vision just walked through the wall and beat her to it, “We have been at Mr. Parker’s apartment. Mr. Wilson was moving in today and he required an assistance with moving his belongings so we offered a hand. Wanda really did an amazing job. Mr. Wilson hadn’t stopped complimenting her telekinetic power which helped vastly with lifting heavy furniture.”

The whole room gasped in horror, especially Tony who was heavily breathing into a bag to control his hyperventilation. Clint groaned softly, knowing that this day would come.  
Scarlet Witch scolded her boyfriend. “Vis, we have discussed this. Use the door.”

“Oh. My sincere apologies.”

“T…that’s not the point! Why did Wilson move in with Pete?! Why did you help HIM?!” Tony sputtered.

Wanda crossed her arms defensively. “I helped them because I’m their friend. I don’t know their reason for moving in together. If you want to know, go ask them yourself.” With a huff, she took Vision and went back to their designed rooms.

“Moody teens, moody teens everywhere,” Tony muttered behind her.

 

 

Tony decided to take the matter into his hand and went to confront Deadpool. Peter didn’t cooperate.

“I’m not letting you in.” The young hero said and shut the door at Tony’s face. The billionaire stood dumbfucked for a minute before furiously banging the door with his briefcase.

“How could you do this to your old mentor when he is paying his faithful student a visit, Parker? Is your heart made of stone?!”

“You are here to hurt Wade! Don’t think I don’t notice your suit briefcase!” 

“Damn it, kid, be reasonable and hands him over, right now!”

“No! And stop shouting – you’re disturbing my neighbors!”

“I’m not shouting. You’re shouting! And I don’t give a fuck about your neighbors!”

“I’m not talking with you right now!”

“Try me. I’m not moving a millimeter from your threshold,” Tony threatened but Peter was the one playing dirty. Not only did he called Pepper, the sneaky youth also proceeded to tell on Tony that he skipped an important meeting to camp in front of his apartment. Needless to say, Tony got yelled by his strict secretary who also demanded him to hurry his ass back to the Tower.

“This isn’t over yet.” Tony darkly promised to the offensive door.

 

 

Instead of spending a day kicking Deadpool’s ass which was a definition of fun, all Tony had to do all day was to sit behind the desk, with tall stacks of paper that he had to sign and sign. A life of a billionaire who owned a business empire was tiresome like that. Then, he just heard a faint knock on his 27th floored window. As he glanced at the source of the noise, there was the moron in red spandex, clinging to his very expensive window like a giant ugly house lizard.

Deadpool had the guts to wave at him. So, Tony did the most reasonable thing in that situation which was to pull on the hand gauntlet from his watch and shoot the repulsor beam at the obnoxious man.

 

 

Deadpool was an unrelenting asshole. The poor receptionist at the ground floor called him in a panic that the Merc with a Mouth was harassing her. Tony seized this opportunity to excuse himself from a boring boarding meeting.

“Get out of my building,” Tony told Deadpool who ridiculously pretended to be heartbroken.

“Playing hot and cold, eh, Stark? A minute you are so determined to take me from Petey for all yourself, now I'm coming for you and you’re kicking me out of your tower. It’s so confusing!” 

“Nothing is unclear, you plague. You’re in my S, stands for shit, list, for forever.” 

"Hey! I just want to talk with you like civilized people!"

"No. Get out."

“Come on, don’t be a prick. You’re sounding like Petey’s asshole editor.” At that, Tony gasped.

“How dare you compare me to Steve’s reincarnated mustached Nazi idiot?!” 

Wade’ white eyes went comically wide. “You hate him too?!”

See, Wade and Tony had been at each other’s throats since they had an unfortunate chance of meeting years ago. They believed there was no common ground for them to be civil toward each other. However, they never knew that today they would find something that they could share with the other: the hatred toward J.J. Jameson, the horrible boss who loved to slander Spider-Man and slave-drive Peter on daily basis.

Before Tony knew, he and Wilson already moved to Tony’s office, caught up in a heated argument of who hated the Bugle’s editor more.

“—I mean I’ve tried to convince him to resign from that shitty job and work with me instead. But that kid is too independent for his own good and won’t accept my offer, thinking it’s a charity case!—“

“I know right! He doesn’t allow me to kill that jackass too even I volunteer to do it for free. A service for mankind. At least, let me shape that ugly mustache –“

“No one’s facial hair could be trimmed and stylish as mine, but I can’t agree more that his is beyond terrible. Humanity crime.”

“At least we both can agree about something.”

“…I’m terrified with this discovery but you’re right.”

“…..”

“I still don’t like you.”

“Me too. However, let make a temporary ceasefire. For Peter.” Wade said seriously.

For a brief moment, at his mention of the person they both cared the most, he saw Tony’s dark brown eyes flickered with many emotions. The billionaire huffed and turned his back on him. 

“Fine.” 

Wade blinked, surprised at the unexpected response. He was prepared for Tony’s resistance to his proposal. The man was the most stubborn Avenger who also hated him the most. He genuinely didn’t expect this. 

“…Am I hearing it correctly– did you just simply say ‘fine’ with that, daddy-in-law?”

Tony grimaced at Wade’s terrible endearment. “Don’t you dare call me that again. Ever. Now get out of my tower.” 

Shrugging, as he turned to leave the room, Tony finally spoke. “The others might already give you their ideas what would happen to you if you hurt Pete. But Wilson, I’ll beat them to it. Make one mistake and I’ll kill you.”

Wade grinned. This was the Stark he knew. Deadpool couldn’t die. Many people resigned to this fact but Stark’s statement was filled with so much confidence like he never doubted his ability that he could find a way to end the Merc’s life permanently. Tony usually carried himself in the public like a flamboyant businessman with snarky quips but Wade never questioned that he was, in every aspect, one of the great heroes of their time. They might have fought against each other several times and Deadpool never missed a chance to infuriate with Iron Man. However, deep down, he secretly respected Tony. Not the same way he hero-worshipped Captain America.The man had guts, after all. So many filthy riches in the world and he was the one who became Iron Man. Not to say that not many people would be that ruthless to fly a nuke to space to protect his beloved one.

“Got that.” He replied and left.

 

 

They still didn’t like him per say. Especially, after Wade moved in with Peter – Peter's idea. The young brunette wanted to teach the Avengers the lesson and also take their relationship to the next step, two-birds-one-stone kind of plan.

The Avengers wasn’t very happy. However, they had no choices but to gradually make peace with the fact that their spider was dating Wade.

Steve was the one who was willing to warm up with Wade. So, the Merc decided to do something for him in return for the chance the Captain had given to him. It took him many months and his connections around the world to acquire it. Finally, after a morning marathon that he was forced to do, he was able to give it to the puzzled super soldier-- a paper written a European address of a certain fugitive. 

“Do not thank me – just from now on, please let me sleep.” His wish was finally granted as Steve immediately booked a flight to Austria.

Natasha was still cold. However, sometimes she would suggest Wade practice with her –it was a weak excuse for using him as her personal living punching bag, and Barton did no shit to protect him -the bastard. Bruce also was still a shy dude. The only word so far that the scientist spoke with Wade was an apology for the Hulk’s behaviors. Wanda and Vision were now Wade’s besties. 

Tony still hated Wade and kept threatening to get him deported back to Canada but they both now had the deal together to defame J.J. enough to make him go bankrupt so Peter could go work with Tony. 

 

 

Actually, Wade knew it better than anyone else that he didn’t deserve Peter. But fucked it. Fucked all the reasons that constantly reminded him of this bitter reality. No, Wade didn’t overcome his self-loathing a bit. They were still with him and sometimes they had a tea party discussing how unworthy he was to stand beside someone so pure and beautiful like his baby boy. It was just that he got sick of their awful advice that had him run away from the best thing in his life. The Merc followed that advice in the past. The devastated look on Peter’s face was enough to make Wade feel like shit—even shitter than he usually fell about himself. 

He discovered that Peter’s happiness was much more important than his own insecurities.

So, he made up his mind. If Peter believes in their future together so was he. As long as the kid still wanted to love his ugly mug and even uglier soul, Wade would stop trying to be a coward for once in his life and work harder for their relationship. He would fight for it. At one point, he was even prepared to defy the laws of the universe and maybe kill some of its writers. Fortunately, perhaps in this timeline, he may not have to go that far. All he had to deal was the Avengers.

“Thank you,” Peter told him one night.

“Thank for what?”

“For enduring them for me.”

“You’re worth it, baby boy.”

Immediately, Peter snuggled Wade’s body. He couldn’t help it, sometimes, the larger man was so sweet. Wade cackled softly. Then, he might realize something and went rummage his Hello Kitty backpack. 

“Oooh, ooh! I just remembered I bought you a gift!”

A small, roughly wrapped gift dropped on Peter’s lap. The younger hero picked it curiously.

“Thank you, Wade. But you really don’t have to--“

“Open it, open it.” Wade urged, excitedly. Peter shook his head at his enthusiastic boyfriend, glanced at the gift curiously and started to unwrap it, oblivious to said boyfriend who tried to best to suppress his laughter. 

Peter stared down at the package of temporary tattoos for ‘kids.’

“What is this, Wade?” Peter deadpanned. Wade howled.

“This tattoo would make you look ferocious, baby boy! No more bouncers and cashier to keep you away from your booze!”

Of course, he shouldn’t forget that Wade Wilson was an asshole who loved to make fun of Peter’s problem with his look. Gritting his teeth, the hero kicked the snickering mercenary off the bed. “You sleep on the couch tonight.”


	4. Meet Miles, the new spider in town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter adopted Miles, the mysterious boy with spider power during Wade’s absence. Wade was totally cool with the kid staying with them. I mean, Miles was the cute little button. However, the kid seemed to possess an unhealthy drive to protect Peter by any mean which included but was not limited to cockblocking Wade. This was going to be a delightful ride.

In short, Peter adopted Miles when Wade had been a million miles away from Earth, forced into participating in a reconnaissance mission that he had absolutely no shit to do with.

 

However, for the sake of his dearest readers who might be confused, Wade would kindly rewind the story back to three months earlier so you would see how the Avengers had compromised his married life with Petey. No, they weren’t yet "married". Unfortunately, but hey who cared. Peter and he had lived together for months since the fateful day Wade moved in with him. And long before that, they had already been in "sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow". If these don’t count as the milestone of the married life, Wade has no fucking idea then what it would be. 

Anyway, back to the main story. Three months earlier, the Avengers had called both Spider-Man and Deadpool to the Headquarter. It seemed like the Fantastic 4 had detected an unknown signal near the Solar System. Mr. Fantastic had a hypothesis that this might signify some kind of a disturbance happening in the multi-universe but he wasn’t sure about its effects on their world, hence, deciding that The F4 would go into the outer space where the sign was believed to originate from and investigate the situation. Only a few people in the superhero community knew this secret mission. Apparently, The Avengers was among the few to receive their invitation and was concerned enough to agree to send one of the members to join the F4’s voyage set to inspect the sign along with the other representative from the X-Men. 

Hence, the agenda of their meeting today: to kick someone’s ass out in the space for a month-length reconnaissance mission. Wade really didn’t pay attention after the long boring briefing that Tony had just given about the possibility of yet another apocalypse. I mean, Wade understood the weight of how huge the deal could become, he wasn’t just a dumb blonde okay, but it wasn’t concerned him at all. Why care? Peter, on the other hand, was super-excited about the prospect of going into the space.

“Spider-Man reported for duty!” The youngest Avengers raised his hand enthusiastically.

“NO!” As Wade expected, immediately the whole room protested in unison.

“Nope. Just, nope. We are NOT going to send you to some unknown danger in the space, kiddo. Your sticky feet stick to the ground in New York,” Tony said firmly, just the idea of Peter in space gave Iron Man a terrifying chill. He experienced it once during the Battle of New York, he absolutely not gonna stand any smallest chance that Peter might end up in that horrible void. Everyone, including Wade, nodded in agreement with Tony, likely were sharing the similar thought as the billionaire. Peter puffed and huffed, slamming his back into the seat and sulking in silence. 

Wade sympathized him a little. His boy had a big dream but his safety must come first. 

After Peter’s volunteer got shot down, Wade had zoned out completely from the discussion. That’s until his name was called to be the Avengers’ representative.

“THE FUCK?” 

Steve frowned, “language, please.”

“You have a really funny way of expressing your excitement for the job, Wilson,” Tony chimed in, behind the sunglasses his eyes sparkling with mischief. And Wade's brain finally supplied that Tin Man was the ONE who suggested his name. The asshole.

“Oh, I know what you’re trying to do, daddy-in-law. Still trying to keep me away from your precious son, aren’t you? Won’t work. ‘Cause I ain’t participate no shit with your heroes’ failed attempt to replicate the greatest that is the adventures of Captain Kirk and his merry-going crews. And you cannot convince me otherwise even the F4 could miraculously manage to bring the real U.S.S. Enterprise to life!” Wade shouted.

“Don’t you dare call me daddy-in-law. I just had a nice brunch and would hate to puke.”

“Don’t you fucking try to change the subject!”

“Is he okay today?” Bruce whispered to Peter, concerns evident in his eyes as he was witnessing a glaring contest between Deadpool and Tony. The scientist was still wary about the ex-Merc’s unpredictable behavior. Bruce wasn’t afraid for his wellbeing per se because the big guy could smash absolutely anything and Wade had become the Hulk favorite punching bag which he and the Hulk were fine with it. But Bruce, in spite of his social incompetence, knew that it wasn’t cool to smash your science bro’s boyfriend, even said boyfriend loved it.

“I think he was just shocked,” Peter reassured Bruce but also narrowed his eyes at Tony.

“Wade is right. Why did you want to send him? Why not me?” 

“Only the first question is valid, honey?” Wade interrupted gently. Peter grasped and turned to give his boyfriend’s a betrayed look.

“I was trying to help you!”

“Nope, you were trying to get your cute ass into space.”

“…Damn right, I did. I VOLUNTEER!” Peter yelled, perfectly imitating that chick on fire who shared the eerie resemblance with Mystique when she wasn’t blue. No one was impressed with Spidey's attempt by the way. 

“Kid, wanna go with me to the kitchen and have some hot cocoa?” Clint asked casually like he was offering a peace. It was so unnatural like the time that an uncle would try to do to distract you from the adult’s talk. Peter was furious and was going to let his displeasure be known when Natasha just agreed that she needed a drink too and Peter NEEDED to accompany her. Peter quickly shut his trap and let himself be dragged to the kitchen. As a younger spider in the spider-themed superhero hierarchy, Peter felt obligated to obey Nat for no reasons, besides Black Widow was really scary. 

When the door closed behind them, Wade turned back to Tony and scowled. 

“I know I’m that charming boy that you want badly to represent your boyband but I am not an Avenger! Actually, I think I’m more of the X guy.”

“The last time I checked you are an annoying mutate, Wilson. Oh, and still is having a restraining order to keep away from the X-Men’s property,” Tony drily commented. Wade crossed his hands. Seeing his reluctance and Tony’s ineffective method of persuasion, Steve interrupted,

“You’ve been on our team for a while now, Wade. I consider you one of us.”

“But not officially.” Wade countered. Steve thought and nodded. “Fair enough. But you could be. Officially.”

“Very tempting, Cap, very tempting but still a solid no. Dangling this carrot in front of me wouldn’t work. Nothing, even a promise of your platinum membership card and a private floor at the tower could part me from my Petey’s sweety booty,” Wade proceeded to elaborate his statement with an obnoxious imitation of nuzzling imaginary Peter’s ass-cheeks. 

Tony made a face, “that’s gross.” 

Poor Bruce turned a different shade of green. Having had enough dose of Wade for today, the shy scientist decided to clarify their reason for choosing Wade to the man in hope that this awkward meeting would be over soon.

“It’s just a reconnaissance and Reed has promised that it wouldn’t last more than one month. We have volunteered you because of your healing factor -- the same reason why the X-Men selected Wolverine for this task.”

“OMG! Wolvie too?! Why didn't You tell me that my old hairy Canadian friend would be joining this boring mission!?” Wade yelled, clearly excited at the idea of teaming up with Wolverine which everyone knew that Logan would be much less thrilled. Bruce flinched at Wade’s sudden outburst. Tony took the turn to finish his explanation. 

“Reed and Ben would be handling science stuff mostly. They just need some people who are very best at not dying and can fight just for the case there might be some danger on the way. The F4 would be fine in the space as their source of power is originated from the cosmic radiation. But we don’t have much information about the consequences of this cosmic ray on normal bodies, even of the super, especially when they are to be exposed to the radiation for such a long period. Hence, your regenerating power comes very handy. If anything to happen, you have the higher chance to survive, comparing to others -- let say like Underoos.”

“You aren’t going to consider sending Pete to this fucking mission, are you?” Wade growled. He knew they wouldn’t but any mention of Peter's names in the same sentence with danger would automatically set him off.

“I wouldn’t, jackass. It was just a metaphor. Do you think I’m that asshole? I rather go there myself if the only option is to send him,” Tony hissed back, equally offended.

“Enough, Tony. So, what is your decision, Wade?” Cap put a stop to the fight and was looking expectedly at Wade as now the Mercenary knew their reason for volunteering him. Wade grumbled in his throat that he needed time to think and they reluctantly gave him 24 hours to respond back. 

In the end, he had no choice but to accept it. 

Not because of how important this shitty mission was, but because of Peter. Peter was so jealous at first that Wade was offered the very cool mission but he brightened up immediately when learned that the Avengers promised to knight Wade the Avenger if he agrees to accept the job. Wade couldn’t say no to that hopeful face and that “I’m so proud of you. Still jealous but proud! It’s so cool. Go see the space for me!”

 

 

To be truthful, Wade wasn’t a big fan of his crewmates, especially that Johnny boy toy, Captain America’s evil twin whom Peter liked and who loved rubbing his friendship with Peter on Wade’s face. The brat. Luckily, they arrived at the destination spot safely with everyone alive and still relatively sane. Despite the rough beginning of their journey, the trip was disappointedly uneventful, lacking anything exciting except a few occasions that Wolvie threatened to murder him. All Mr. Fantastic, the Thing, and the Invisible lady had been doing for a month were to talk boring science and send some data back to Earth. Wade was bored to death.

That was until Reed fucked some shit up with his experiment and broke their spaceship which led to him and the crews ending up staying in the space for three months. Three fucking months! Apparently, Reed Richards was genetically programmed to screw up somewhere somehow. It didn’t matter whether how much Reed tried to reassure him that the Earth was informed of their ‘slight’ problem and it would be fixed soon. Wade almost tempted to kill them all and if necessary, to literally swim his way back to Earth. Peter had been summoned to send a video message in order to calm his crazy boyfriend down. Now, it had been three months that his beloved boyfriend has been waiting for his return day and night. Had he not been trapped somewhere between the nowhere and the Asteroid Belt, they could have been doing something excited right about now, like sex. Wade wasn’t known for being celibate and he made sure that his crewmates were aware of how his poor balls were suffering from not getting the D. Perhaps, he had been too graphic about his misery that Logan finally delivered his promise of killing Wade.

But at least, it motivated Mr. Elongated-Man rip-off to hurry his rubber ass and fix his space junk. 

Finally, Wade was going home.

 

 

Wade almost kissed the ground when they arrived in New York at night. Almost, because he realized that he must save it for his boyfriend. It was around 2 in the morning and Spider-Man must have been patrolling. Peter usually hit home at 3 or 5 in cases that it was a busy night of crimes. Then, the brilliant idea popped up in Deadpool’s head. Instead of seeking his baby out to have Peter give him a welcome-home kiss, Wade would wait for him at home, setting a romantic scene and wrapping himself as a present for his boy to unwrap, if you know what he means *wink wink*

Laughing like a madman in love, Wade hurriedly departed without attending the briefing. Like hell, he would let himself be put in the same small room with these people again soon. Especially, when he had to catch up with his bae.

Shortly, he arrived at the apartment, the place which he could fully call home. Wade dismissed the key and chose to climb his way in through the window which was connected to their shared bedroom and usually kept unlocked. Knowing his way in their room, Wade didn’t bother to turn the light on as he proceeded to undress in the dark. His plan was to strip off this smelly suit and stuff his fat ass into a fancy red dress (in the wardrobe), holding a rose (fleshly plucked from the neighbor’s pot) between teeth then lying sexily on the bed until Peter was back and then surprise!

When he heard the footsteps approaching the room, Wade had hastily sped up his preparations to the point that his stripper ancestor (would be cool if he had one) would be very proud. The footsteps were coming close, Wade was checking himself and the setting once last time and...

The door opened. 

Wade put on his best pursed lips and called in the hoarse sultry voice that he knew Pete loved so much. 

“Hey, tiger.”

A terrifying yelp. Wade frowned at the unexpected reaction. Then, he finally saw a kid. 

'Fuck me' Wade screamed internally. 

Everything was expected to turn out finely! Nothing could really be going wrong if the person currently standing on the doorstep had been Peter. Wade’s favorite arachnid was absent and on the door was a boy aged around 10 who looked like he had just witnessed something very traumatizing. Crap, did he just break in the wrong apartment? But he did just pull out his dress from the wardrobe so this definitely was his room! Suddenly, he realized what the kid had just seen. Wade was truly horrified. Wade Wilson might be an asshole but he never wanted to subject kids to his nudity. This kid whom he was very confident never met before might be already scarred for life now. While Wade was lying petrified on his bed, not knowing what to do, the boy, on the other hand, had taken the quick run back to the hallway...and reappeared with a baseball bat. Wade’s eyes had gone comically wide as realization had dawned on him.

“Umm, kid...Look I can explain----”

Then, everything went black for him.

 

 

Preview:

“Wade, listen…” Peter began but Wade interrupted him as a cruel realization had dawned on him.

“Did you just pull a Cast Away on me, Petey?! Did you remarry? Who is this boy’s daddy?!” Big fat tears dramatically running down Wade’s cheeks.

“No, Wade. See…” 

“OMG!! Is he…my kid! I didn’t know you were pregnant, baby, I’m so sorry. I should have stayed with you. I should have known that time is funny in space. And my three months up there equal to your ten years! I just can’t believe that I’ve left both of you alone for ten years! I've missed all his first and now he doesn’t know me. Life is cruel.”

Standing next to Peter was Miles who looked like he was so done with this crazy man he’s just met, and was silently wondering why his guardian wasn't just kicking him out of the apartment. Peter really couldn't blame the kid. Their first impression was, to put it politely, far far from Peter’s ideal scenario to introduce them to each other when Wade arrived. He really should have known better.

At Peter’s unimpressed look, Wade’s eyes widened as (another) realization has dawned on him. As his mouth was opening to fly yet another bullshit, Peter lost it and slapped Wade on his head. “Shut up and let me explain, you idiot!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi me again :) I have had this idea with me for a while and just recently managed to write. I hope anyone would find it entertaining.


End file.
